“I don’t know” is the most common response to any query in this house. Here are some examples of questions that would elicit such a response:
“Why is there trash on the floor?”
“Why is this dish broken?”
“Why is there a giant scratch on the car?”
“What is this mysterious substance smeared across the sink?”
“Why is the couch on fire?”
“Why is there a decapitated squirrel inside a blood-drawn pentagram on the basement floor?”
You get the idea. No one in this house, occupied by three people, ever knows anything about anything. I’m sure family men everywhere can relate.
So it was of little surprise to me when a drinking glass, which I’ve never seen before, and which doesn’t match any set of glasses we own, apparated mysteriously upon the counter.
I inquired, naturally. I’m sure you can guess the response.
Maybe it was a jelly or yogurt jar? Is it important to anyone? Does anyone want to keep it? The answer, obviously, was much simpler.
Yes, that’s right. Its unexplained appearance and humble design can only lead to one explanation, and I should notify The Vatican. Eventually. For now, though, it sits untouched. No one has moved it, and no one has used it. It waits for the penitent man, one who must choose wisely.
Who will be the first?
–Simon