Category: Projects

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That Which Can’t Be Found…

…can be built!

I’m growing increasingly weary of the construction quality of purchased products. It’s nothing new, of course. Every product, once popular, is imitated by other manufacturers (patents allowing). And what begins as a consumer-friendly price reduction quickly turns into marketing gimmicks to build brand loyalty, followed by a race to the bottom. The prices stabilize somewhere beneath the original price, and then once that maximum price a consumer is willing to pay for the product is determined, the profit margin can only increase by reducing manufacturing costs. Ergo, in capitalism, a good idea turns into a readily-available mediocre product that breaks much sooner than it should. And we put up with it.

But what really irks me is when I can’t even throw money at the problem and find a luxury-priced version of an item that’s actually built better – what I call the “lazy tax”. Apparently I’m an aberration to consumer spending habits, for what I want usually doesn’t even exist. And in the time I spend searching for the unicorn, I could have built it myself.

So fine! Here’s my new cucumber trellis:

Constructed with treated lumber, PVC-coated fencing wire, and deck screws; this bad boy certainly isn’t going anywhere. Especially since it’s mounted to stakes driven 3 feet into the soil. Total price? I dunno, maybe around $40? Certainly no more than $50, considering I had some materials on hand already.

A flimsy bent wire prefab? Definitely more.

Don’t stand for this people! By all means, be lazy and spend your money. That helps the economy and drives up shareholder stock values (hopefully mine, most importantly). But don’t settle for cheapness!

Wasting your money on cheap imported good is definitely American, but so is ingenuity.

Lecture over.

–Simon

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Mosquito Wars

A year ago I installed a mosquito bucket, inoculated with Bacillus thuringiensis, which supposedly kills larvae before they pupate into bastard bloodsuckers. I remained unconvinced.

Eternal Damnation

It turns out that the color of the bucket makes all the difference, as mosquitos, being the tiny demons that they are, like darkness. So when last year’s bucket cracked, I replaced it with a black one.

And behold!

It’s difficult to tell from the photo, but there were larvae (those white grub things). And one was dead. I’ll take that as confirmation that the deathtrap is now finally working!

Small victories.

–Simon

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Appliance Augmentations

When a big ticket item needs purchasing, a person should contemplate and thoroughly research available replacement products that are on the market. Making an informed decision not only increases the chances of finding a selection that most appropriately fits the user’s needs, but also decreases the chance of choosing a product that emphasizes form and marketing over proper function and longevity.

Of course, there are other schools of thought.

And so Liz bought a new stove.

The old stove – the one that came with the house – had started acting funny. The right burners would fail to keep a set temperature, then randomly switch to high. This resulted in boiled over rice and pasta, and swearing. Then the burner wouldn’t turn off. Many problems, Whirlpool.

Of course the prior homeowners didn’t tile the entire area behind the stove, either. And the new stove, with its frontal controls (an obvious layout decision, so one doesn’t have to reach over boiling pots to operate the appliance), lacked an integrated backsplash.

So then we had to add one.

Okay, that problem was solved. But guess what? The outlet isn’t recessed, so this stove, lacking the backsplash control panel, doesn’t sit flush against the wall because of the outlet gap. This left an inch in which any manner of objects could fall behind.

So after some joint brainstorming that involved overthinking potential solutions, the internet revealed that there are products specifically manufactured to address this problem. Essentially a bracket that sits in the gap, mounted to L-brackets on the cabinet sides. Simple, right? Ohhh no. Because the gap bracket just floats on the mounts and popped out the instant I pushed the stove against it. So I drilled a hole through it and mounted it to the stove itself using the existing screw holes that attach the stove’s back to the unit. This held it in place while I forced the stove back against the backsplash and on top of the brackets. Jeez.

There! Finally, a nicely installed stove with backsplash and gap filler.

The appliance itself? Well, so far it heats very evenly and consistently. I’ve made some very nice bread with it. It has a lot of functions I haven’t played with, like air fryer mode and and moist baking. I’ve once again jumped forward 10 years in technology and have to figure things out again. But at least I’m not boiling things over anymore.

–Simon

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47 Days Later

I added a big piece of driftwood. It’ll eventually be propped up in the corner, but for now it’s floating until it becomes waterlogged enough to sink on its own.

–Simon

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Food Inventory

This is hardly a revelation in that it should have been obvious, but the best solutions (however simple) are surprisingly elusive. I felt so brilliant and stupid when I realized food saver bags have a buffer of extra plastic beyond the seal, in which I can put the label and add another seal, thereby solving the issue of labels losing their stickiness from condensation and falling to the bottom of freezer purgatory. And guess what? The enamel on chest freezer lids is essentially a large dry-erase board!

Derp. And just like that, I can keep a running board inventory system of freezer contents. And again, I feel so smart at the revelation and so stupid at how long it took me to discover. Oh well, at least I finally figured out a working system (provided I actually remember to update it consistently).

Ordinatio vos liberabit!

–Simon