Tomatillo Salsa Verde

Ah the tomatillo – the tomato wannabe that’s forever doomed to live in the shadow of its more popular and better-looking brother. So sad that I can’t even find a picture of past harvests. This year I didn’t even plant any – I just let some grow where they came up on their own.

Part of this aversion is their sticky and slimy skin, surrounded by that annoying husk that needs removal. And they’re very sour. And I had failed to create a good way to use them.

But at long last, I finally have formulated a recipe. Here it is so I don’t forget:

  • Add enough tomatillos to line the bottom of a 9X9 baking dish, cut in half (cut side up).
  • Bake at 325 for an hour.
  • Process through food mill and add juice to blender.
  • Add 1tsp salt, 1/2 white onion, juice of 1 lime, 1Tbsp sugar, 1Tbsp corn starch; and discretionary amounts of white pepper, cilantro, jalapeño, minced garlic.
  • Blend until puréed.
  • Refrigerate until cool.

Ta-daa!

–Simon

Mycological Machinations

First, look at this:

Looks tasty huh?

Okay, now look at these:

It stands to reason that the scavenging omnivores we are must have at some point tried eating what was growing on the dead thing in addition to the dead thing itself. Anyway – mushrooms! A gift from my sister. Biologists, right?

Fun to watch grow though.

And with a cheesy bechamel…

Not too bad to eat.

–Simon

Salisbury Steak

Sometimes I don’t want to write about my cooking. Sometimes I just want to post a pic, because some dishes don’t need yet another blogger’s recipe. Therefore, I introduce to new blog category: Food Porn.

Today’s entry: Salisbury Steak

With cheesy mashed potatoes

–Simon

Best of Both Burger Worlds

571 words, 3 minutes read time.

(Did you notice I added word count and read time? I always thought this was silly myself when I come across it, because if I actually clicked on the article, it’s probably going to interest me enough that the world count disclosure wouldn’t dissuade me. But, ADHD as we are, I’ll start providing the courtesy.)

To char-grill, or smash burger? Ah, such is Man’s burden – to be forced to decide between coal-fired crisp or succulent smooshed sear. The former produces thick patties encrusted with Malliard’s magic, but can all too often result in dry burgers that don’t retain cohesion upon flipping. The latter produces crisp edges and juicy interiors, but lacks the char crust and retains too much grease for comfortable digestion. So we must choose a preference, and I don’t like those restrictions!

What if there were a way to have your burger and eat it too?

Introducing: Simon’s Patenty Patented Patty Prep!

Step 1, line a grilling cage with aluminum foil. I prefer grilling foil to those sissy skimpflated hair-dying foil sheets they pass off at the grocery now. No really, I had budget foil melt on the grill before. Don’t use it.

In this instance, I’ll layered patties. It’s an alternative that avoids over-working the meat when mixing. But don’t add cheese here. It just melts and runs out.

Step 2, spray the foil in oil and arrange your patties. Leave sufficient room between them to allow for smashing. Season.

Step 3, close the cage around the foil and patties, and lock.

There will be some runoff, but that’s unavoidable. I’ve countered this by adding melted butter and extra moisture in the form of Worcestershire to the grinds. It’s okay, because unlike grilling on the bare grate, the flareups won’t burn the meat.

Step 4, perforate the foil on both sides. This will allow the excess grease to drip out and the smoke to add seasoning.

I used a skewer in this case, but bigger holes can be made depending on preference.

Step 4, place the cage over direct heat and grill. It will take longer due to the added mass and foil shielding, but be patient and don’t worry about the flareups. They won’t burn. Use an instant-read thermometer to monitor progress. Some of this will be more instinctual since you can’t visually inspect.

I use firefighter gloves for this part. And the other perk here is flipping is a simple turn of the cage.

Step 5, flip accordingly, but don’t flip too early or you’ll miss out on browning. Pull the patties when the internal temperature is where you want it.

These particular patties were a mix of deer and beef, so I browned them less to avoid drying.

Step 6, add cheese and rest the patties while still on the foil. It will cool quick enough, but retain enough heat to gently melt the cheese.

Step 7, of course, is to stuff face hole.

And there you have it! No crumbled patties from a botched flip. No need to add binding agents to hold the patties together. Hole size can be customized to determine level of runoff and browning. The slight smash of the cage offers a compromise between char-grill and smash burgers. And the properly-oiled foil doesn’t stick to the patties how even the most clean of grill grates always tends to.

You may license my patent for $1 per patty. Happy grilling.

–Simon