Posts

Posted on

Swords

America missed the sword era. By the time colonial America got started, firearms dominated battlefields. We had Bowie knives and tomahawks – arguably high on the coolness factor, but they’re not swords. There were cavalry sabers, but they weren’t main battlefield weapons for the average soldier. The romance of the sword just doesn’t exist much in our own history.

Fortunately we have history nerds and renaissance festivals!

Viva la Renaissance

I was a latecomer to these. West Texas festivals were more about the western pioneering cowboy/homesteading/Indian wars. There were plenty of cap guns and lassos to be had, but no swords. More’s the pity.

But now I live in the Midwest, where European roots are celebrated. And that includes medieval weapons! Yay! A history nerd myself, I can finally immerse in the bizarre fantasy of brutal hack and slash warfare, without actually participating.

And the internet has made this pursuit so much more feasible than the first time I convinced my father to order a sword online from a random website. Hey, I didn’t have a credit card yet. And the internet was more innocent then. Now I do, and I can buy things myself. The difficult part now is convincing myself.

Garbage Pile 3
Here he is, the old man who lent me his credit card. Now we’re persuading him to buy wizard apparel.

Of course, that first sword was a cheap stainless steel non-functional wall decoration meant for ignorant dorks…like myself, circa 2001. Now I have a better idea of what to look for. And while I’m aware of the large festival price markup, I wanted the experience of examining and buying a hand-forged sword, in person, from a weapon vendor. So I did.

From Legacy Forge.

And if one is to buy an overbuilt sword guaranteed for sport combat, it only makes sense to go Viking.

It did not come sharpened, which an evening with the bench grinder and whetstone solved. And to which the manufacturer cautioned against on their business card, blaming me for any upcoming stupid injuries. That’s fair.

Valhalla!

–Simon

Posted on

Ohio UNESCO

As a history nerd, I get excited when I see “UNESCO”. It’s one of those international bodies that, in theory, seems to supersede politics in the name of culture and education. People did stuff and built cool stuff? Let’s keep these areas off the airstrike maps please. It’s not a new concept by any means. American Indians had designated areas where fighting wasn’t permitted, such as graveyards and flint quarries. The Mafia wasn’t permitted, originally, to kill people in their own homes. Connor MacLeod couldn’t kill other Highlanders on holy ground. And John Wick wasn’t supposed to conduct “business” on Continental grounds. You get the idea. I’m somewhat proud of my own species’ ability to maintain a de facto rule against fighting in inappropriate spaces and conditions, such as those that might destroy physical history, even if it’s all based on an unenforceable honor code. Because without rules, we live with the animals.

And speaking of American Indians and UNESCO, we recently visited the first and only UNESCO site in Ohio!

It’s not quite as exciting as it sounds.

The Hopewell Ceremonial Earthworks is an Indian mound. I’ve seen these before, and as a tourist they’re little more than hills in the terrain, which you aren’t allowed to walk on, surrounded by overgrown shrubbery. They’re probably way more interesting to the archaeologists who get to dig up artifacts there, but to a visitor it’s little more than a field inside bumps. Here’s a photo:

It was also, I’ll note, a geriatric sanctuary. With an admittance fee under the National Park Service, the elderly no doubt flock here because they can get a greatly discounted pass. Keep out the riffraff and such. They were also, at first glance, unwilling to share the southern scenic overlook.

Fortunately the northern scenic overlook was more accessible, and with a much better view:

The place struck me as similar to WWI battlefields – long since repeatedly plowed over for agriculture, remaining as only a vague hint of the past, long since repurposed. Economics determine land usage, and by the time someone recognizes a place for another form of value, it’s only a ruin. That’s a bit dramatic perhaps, but the resulting remnants did not inspire a return visit.

However, exploration of the park revealed its connection to the Ohio-Erie Trail, which I’ve subsequently discovered is part of the cross-state Ohio to Erie Trail. Or, OTET. I was unaware of this trail’s existence, at least officially, as I’ve seen it in sections. But I didn’t know it was all connected. Maybe when I retire I’ll scout it out. Seems like a fun exploration project.

Also, I bought a hat for my dad, so merch!

–Simon

Posted on

Deer Skull Effigy

Despite the frequency of the creepy stickman with antlers found in the woods in horror movies, there isn’t much in the way of supporting evidence to ground it in reality. There’s the general Pagan insinuations, and of course Wiccan, and some eastern European lore, but with much of the evidence based in oral traditions, I haven’t found a definitive link to its origin. If anyone can point me to a study, please let me know.

One thing that can be absolutely proven, however, is that I find them scary. So with Halloween around the corner, and with a pile of sticks in my backyard from the power company’s recent War on Trees, I decided to build an effigy.

The deer skull decoration was surprisingly difficult to find. And even an internet product required substantial delivery time. I guess I’m an outlier with my tastes, with most people seeming to prefer either humor or extreme gore. Subtle fear is apparently not popular.

But I like it. Maybe I’ll leave it up year-round in the backyard by AT&T’s unfinished trenching operation. As a suggestion from the homeowner. A thought…

–Simon

Posted on

Mushrooms (Part 6)

These are not mushrooms from Easement Acres, but they’re new ones to catalog nonetheless, as I’ve never personally encountered them growing before. They were instead located during a hike at the local Sugarcreek Metropark:

Chicken of the woods (Laetiporus species).

Chicken of the woods are a favorite of my Dad’s. He always forages any he finds and vacuum seals them for later. They are delicious, but these ones looked a little old and tough, so I did not take them this time.

Chickens Don’t Live in the Woods

On the more poisonous side of things, here’s another cool, albeit inedible, find:

Jack-o’-lantern mushrooms (Omphalotus illudens)

Their coolness lies in their brilliant color and giant size. And look at that giant slug. Eww. The kid found these ones bushwhacking off-trail.

Kid on a deathmarch

And that’s it. Just a boring post about mushrooms on a hike. Nothing of major note, for which I was happy to have an uneventful weekend.

–Simon

Posted on

FICO Woo!

Earlier this year I saw an increase in my FICO score. Because I’m awesome. Or lucky. Or boring. Or some combination therein of uninteresting life choices that has led to good credit. I’ve been out of the dating game for a long time, and with zero interest to return, but I wonder if people put minimum credit scores on their dating apps requirement list, much as I hear they do for the oft-discussed educational or…height requirements. Didn’t find that 6’8″ bodybuilder M.D. with an 850 FICO in your hometown who responded with a match request? Because there aren’t good men anymore? Reddit’s a funny place.

But my own short-comings notwithstanding, I did finally manage a perfect FICO, even despite my lack of M.D. status!

No longer must I endure the taunting of factors that might be lowering my score. At least not for the moment.

How about that, ladies?

–Simon