Game Relationships

There’s a human cost, in NPCs, when trying to simulate groups of interacting individuals.  Too often are AIs reduced to two interactions: be hostile or don’t be hostile.  Yes, that’s a ubiquitous human paradigm, but there’s one that’s even more common–humans forming relationships–which is rarely explored to any convincing degree.  And so, the NPCs with which we share our virtual worlds never deviate from their proscribed emotional state…unless we need to kill them.

But all that’s beginning to change, and looking back on earlier games, I find my in-game actions to differ drastically based on the lack of meaningful NPC relationships.  Is that an over-analysis of a recreational pastime?  Yes, yes it is.  But here we go.

Of the Bethesda games I’ve played, Skyrim was the first to introduce marriage, which then carried over (sort of) into Fallout 4.  In the latter, you can technically form romantic relationships with a variety of characters, who will then dutifully follow you everywhere.  While doing so, they’ll kill enemies, make snarky comments, judge you on morally ambiguous decisions, and…have sex with you every time you take a nap.  This includes improvised bedrolls found in dingy subway maintenance rooms–wedged between the shelves of industrial solvent and derelict generators.  There isn’t even an option to say no–it just happens automatically every time.

Skyrim was a little different, limiting sex to your home and rented hotel rooms.  It also limited these entanglements to a single person–who must be your spouse.  And no, you can only have one spouse at a time (in fact, I’m not even certain if there’s a divorce option).  I guess these were more civilized times.  And once married, a spouse will faithfully fight alongside the player character, giving greater meaning to in-game marriage beyond someone who simply shares your house.

Apparently Frank Frazetta designed her armor

Prior to Skyrim, Fallout 3 limited romance to a prostitute and some teenager who kind of had a thing for all the boys in town (your character included, upon visiting).  Then again, Fallout 3 was about the bleakest game I’ve every played, and even when stumbling across remnants of what might have been a happy relationship between two NPCs, it generally only served as a plot device, as the outcome was always bad, to introduce more despair (e.g. the embracing skeletal remains of a couple on the couch–incinerated where they sat).

Fallout 4 introduced the ability to pick out a spouse’s outfit–in this case, a kevlar-underweave summer dress–nothing but the best for my postapocalyptic wife

Of course, “sex” in these games is limited to triggering a sleep cycle, having the screen fade to black, then waking up with a temporary experience buff and an on-screen vague inference to having slept in proximity to your lover.

But before this, Oblivion hardly touched on the concept of romance at all.  Some NPCs had spouses, but except for two instances I can think of offhand, the married characters only complained about said spouses.  And you as the main character cannot find a girlfriend/spouse.  Maybe Bethesda didn’t feel that would fit well into the game, and I know they were really trying to keep a teen rating on the game (ultimately unsuccessfully), so perhaps it was best to exclude sex and all innuendos completely.

The result is that I always feel like a bit of a Clint Eastwood character in Oblivion.  I show up, do some generally good deeds–some questionable–then I ride out of a town to unknown parts.  And for the most part, I’m always alone.  There are some characters that will follow you, but there’s no personal connection to them, and I tend to just enjoy watching them take beatings again and again at the hands of wolves and bandits.

Such is the fate of heroes–after crises, they cease to serve a purpose.  Fallout 3 recognized this by killing the main character.  Skyrim and Fallout 4 gave meaning to the post-crisis character by giving them a family.  But Oblivion offered no such purpose.

So my Oblivion character wanders eternally.

Were I to have no wife, would I wander eternally in search of purpose like my Oblivion character?  In games with no endgame, the fate of heroes might uncannily parallel the player’s deeper sense of purpose.  I even built a retirement home on the beach in Fallout 4, after completing the main campaign.

An identity crisis from video games.  Who would have thought?

–Simon

Nukaworld (Part 2)

Okay so I lied.  You didn’t really expect me to never play this DLC through, right?  I mean, things needed killing, and they weren’t going to kill themselves, despite me saying, and wishing, that they would.

In summary, the plot involves traveling to a large raider camp inside a derelict theme park, becoming one of them, re-taking the other areas of the park that had since gotten overrun with various threats, distributing the spoils, and solving the raider factions’ political problems.

Yeah, that sounds miserable, or

You can travel to the raider camp, become one of them, re-take the other areas of the park that had since gotten overrun with various threats, then go on a bloody rampage and murder every raider.  As I usually default to the harbinger of justice, I chose the latter option which, after the painful trudge of retaking the parks and listening to this large group of psychopaths complain about their problems, was way more fun.  Besides which, it seems a little unsporting to team up with the psychopaths and go kill regular people just going about their business.  Violence needs a proper motive, and if my predilection to save innocents wasn’t sufficient, the desire to silence all the whining certainly was.

There’s my very brief synopsis, now funny photos:

Yeah, whoever did this just needs to die for obvious reasons
A nice little homage to Psycho here
If this is a reference to something I sure don’t know what it is–death by flamingos?  Is this a Hitchcock nod?
After killing the raiders, the merchants are freed. I think the game was scripted to remove their slave collars, but it looks like it glitched and removed all of their clothing as well. Now there’s a market filled with people in skivies.

–Simon

Lazy Eye

I have 3 monitors up currently, running at maximum resolution and with the sizing adjusted to cram as much information as possible onto these screens without feeling eye strain.  I casually peruse the internet.  Every tech site I visit has followed a similar theme–they’ve used the entire monitor’s real estate for its intended purpose and filled it with information.

Then I visit a blog and there’s large segments of white space and the articles are crammed into tiny columns with large verticality.  Now, I do know why, as I’m in the industry and have had experience with web design (I’ve even attended a seminar that touched on this): the human eye is lazy and wants to float through text as comfortably as possible, and varying studies have revealed anywhere from 45-70 characters per line to be the most comfortable.  And to this I say quite frankly: bollocks.

I can’t remember the last book I read, aside from a children’s story, which adhered to this philosophy.  Oh I know the argument has been that paper reads differently from digital, which has also been the primary argument in the running debate regarding deprecating serif fonts; but how lazy are we really when we want to read something of interest?  Personally, I don’t find it all that difficult to adjust to varying font sizes and widths, and my eyes are far from 20/20.  I do find it irritating, however, to have to continually scroll down a page as I read.

It was a lingering gripe I had with this default WordPress theme, that it was capping content width at around this 75-character mark, and no obvious means existed by which to adjust it.  The whole point of using an authoring program like WordPress was to not have to dig into code to add content and make changes.  Adding to that, it’s much more difficult to dig into code that someone else made than it is to modify my own, so this issue is doubly aggravating.  Further still, each version of WordPress and each separate theme has different settings, so consulting the usual Internet discussion was fruitless.

No matter, it’s all CSS after all.  How hard could it be?

As it turns out, it’s relatively easy to make the change.  The difficult part was finding the styling info I needed.  But thankfully, WordPress not only has an engine for modifying the stylesheet within WordPress itself, they were kind enough to also have left a comment trail throughout.  I found what I was after in a little section called Layout.

Post-modification, additional comments are mine to remember default values

“.wrap” encompasses anything under that umbrella, and after experimentation I found that 1200px made much better use of a full desktop monitor without overloading visual elements.  Then I adjusted the percentile ratios of “#primary”, the main content column which contains posts, and “#secondary”, all that sidebar stuff to the right.  Above are my changes.

Like all web design, visual layouts are trial and error, and I may tweak things more in the future.  But for now, I find the posts’ width to be much more practical.  And now my embedded images appear bigger as well.

I’m sure much of this is personal preference, but I really hated wasting all that space.  Whether or not anyone else might agree with my assessment, at least this post shows the means by which it can be changed to suit other’s needs.

–Simon

I Speak for the Trees

The Christmas tree is up.

That statement carries heavy implications, to which family men everywhere shudder from mild PTSD.

Seriously, it’s a lot of effort for such a bizarre holiday decoration.  In years past we had opted for an artificial tree, mostly because we lived in rented property, but also because I didn’t want to deal with the mess.  That’s when we acquired would would be known thereafter as “The Martha Stewart Tree”, because we bought it at K-Mart (of all places that’s where Martha Stewart had her brand sold at the time), and it looked better than any artificial Christmas tree we had seen elsewhere.

But the tree came with very questionable pre-wiring (which I later removed), and the clipped wires of the tree’s frame were lethally sharp.  And the damn thing dropped fake needles everywhere which the vacuum refused to pick up.  Fuck that tree.

So we’ve since made the switch to real trees.

Of course, real trees have their own set of problems, but whatever kind we got this year has been especially awful.  This one doesn’t have any real branches, just a bunch of fluff that can’t support any weight, so I only have half the lights on it that I would normally.  And the sap gave me an allergic reaction.

Plus, the ornaments keep falling off.  Look at the kid’s consternation as she debates their placement:

This was a terrible species for a Christmas tree.  I sure hope Liz remembers what it was so we don’t get that kind again.  I’m about to go Griswold on the neighbor’s spruce.

–Simon

Nutcracker

I’ve never been to a ballet.  Of all the presumably highbrow experiences I pondered whilst sipping bourbon poured from my crystal decanter, ballet never crossed my mind.  I’m game for orchestras, but I never felt orchestral arrangements needed the visual aid.  Then again, I do seem to enjoy auditory experiences more than most, so perhaps this was to be expected.

Liz wanted to take the kid to see the Nutcracker.  I was dubious about the prerequisite attention span required, but part of being a parent is forcing culture into your child whether they want it or not, so I was on board.  Off we went to the Schuster Center’s Mead Theatre!

Why do they cram men into those? Can’t they just wear some sweatpants or something?

One of the consequences of an active mind is the need for discourse.  Lacking any prior relatable experience, the kid endlessly asked questions about what the hell was going on, which is a fair reaction really.  To a child’s mind, I imagine it would be very confusing to watch people dance around to instrumental music, vaguely acting out a story that wasn’t based in any sort of reality.

And one of the consequences of an introspective mind is the tendency to zone out.  The familiar melodies invoked thoughts of Fantasia, naturally.  I also recalled hearing that Tchaikovsky never considered the piece one of his better works, yet it became one of his better-known pieces.  Then I started thinking about the dancers and their well-known anorexia problems.  Then I awoke with a start, embarrassed that I had fallen asleep (though no one seemed to have noticed).  Damn is that music peaceful!

Conclusion: The kid wasn’t old enough for this type of venue, I found it incredibly boring, and Liz was disappointed that they had apparently modernized it from the version she knew.  That’s culture I guess–an experience not terribly fun at the time, but something that forms a lasting memory to live on as nostalgia.  I hope that’s how the kid recalls this experience.

–Simon