Category: House

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Pee-yew Pipe

I like breathing. I wasn’t exactly consulted in the design of terrestrial animalia metabolic function, but breathing is a required component in the process of oxidizing hydrocarbons for cellular energy nonetheless. So it would follow that such a necessary and constant action should be made somewhat pleasant, right?

Why then does laziness and cheapness persist to make the process unpleasant? Why as a people would we not choose to band together and make air quality a priority? (Beyond the obvious monetary implications, that is.)

I complained about this when I originally discovered the bathroom fans exhausted into nowhere. Actually, I discovered one fan. The other fan I would later find to be buried completely under insulation. Both fans vented to the attic. Both lacked hoses. And one was covered. Not very effective.

Ventilation

The one fan I could find I attached to a flexible duct line and routed it to the top of the attic, but with no exterior vent hookup, I instead retrofitted a rotary fan onto a passive vent in order to vent the whole attic. It sort of worked, but eventually the fan rusted and seized. Back to square one.

The next phase of the saga revealed the hidden location of fan #2 when what I assumed was the master bathroom fan turned out to be the guest bathroom fan when I ripped it out of the ceiling to figure out why it wasn’t ventilating. Peering down from the attic into the wrong bathroom was an unpleasant surprise. I finally located the master bathroom fan by shoving a wire up beside it and having Liz wiggle it while I scanned the attic for movement.

Both fans got replaced with ducts added. But again, with no external connection point, they vented into the attic for several years, awaiting a proper solution. Eventually, the proper solution came with the new roof. The installers, being very accommodating, added external vents for me – one for each bathroom and one for a future kitchen vent hood project. Huzzah. I triumphantly scampered up to the attic to finally connect the hoses, and was greeted by the sight of a square hole under the vents. Apparently, they’re universal external vents, meant to be fitted with connectors, but not including them by default. Damn. Had I known that, I would have fitted connectors to the old roof’s passive vents, which probably would have been a net gain even though I’d be sacrificing full attic venting capacity. Oh well. At least now I can do it proper.

And the internet told me that this is a very normal scenario, with the easy fix recommending bolting on vent collars and filling the gaps with that heat-resistant foil dryer vent tape. And go figure – that worked just fine. Duct work, unlike plumbing, is surprisingly imprecise. Tape, is part of the standard toolkit.

I should have taken some more “before” pics, but I was choking in the dust and trying to wrap this decade-long project up ASAP. But here’s what it looks like inside:

Here’s the guest bathroom fan. I had the foresight to install a 120CFM beast, even though the size of the bathroom only needed an 80. But with a shared bathroom for anyone visiting, expeditious air evacuation is of paramount priority:

And a final shot of both ducts connected! At last!

Side note: with no shingles on a metal roof, the attic ceiling isn’t studded with thousands of skull perforators. I can safely stand up higher than I ever dared before! The only blood shed on this project was from the sharp metal edges on the collars.

It is done!

–Simon

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Hoard a Cord (pt.3)

At last, with the holiday break, I was able to revisit the firewood holder. The warping OSB was concerning, but ultimately proved not to be an issue once I started attaching the metal. First though, I had to measure and cut it.

Sawing through metal paneling such as this was a new experience. It was too tough for any of my originally-planned methods, but with some protective gear and strong nerve on my part, the miter saw ended up suitable for the job. The screeching of metal on metal was horrendous, and the saw’s reach was insufficient, forcing me to make multiple cuts on each section. And no doubt the blade’s completely shot now and I’ll need to replace it. But, it did eventually work.

And by good fortune, full panel width almost lined up, with just a couple inches of overlap, so I didn’t have to attempt a longitudinal cut. Sometimes, I do luck out.

But as these were not full panels, they lacked the undercurve. They’re designed to hook under the eaves so no hardware is exposed skyward, but as I didn’t have 15 full panels to work with, that wasn’t an option and I had to screw them directly in. I wasn’t concerned. It is just a wood pile. Even if they leak over time, it’s a non-issue.

However, I did still use proper roofing screws – the ones with that synthetic washer that self-seal.

First though, I slid a drip guard under the downward edge, more for aesthetics than concern of water infiltration. I mean, I didn’t install felt or insulation between the metal and wood. I draw the line at overkill somewhere. But either way, it’s an improvement.

Then I added flashing at the peak, this time because I was concerned with water.

And lastly, I spray-painted all the metal parts that weren’t black, to make a nice purdy finish.

I have yet to see anyone else in the neighborhood with a custom-built firewood holder in their backyard, or a metal roof on their house – much less a custom-built firewood holder with a matching metal roof. I guess normal people spend their time and money elsewhere.

But I’m not a normal person, and I have an awesome firewood holder now. Ten years in the backlog and two months in the making. At last!

–Simon

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Idiot Homeowners Pt. 3

A weeknight wound down. I was drifting into pleasant unconsciousness, in an uncharacteristic moment of mental serenity. The mind was not stressing over the next day’s hellscape, nor the kid’s academic performance, nor whatever unfortunate event would drain my finances next before I had sufficient time to replenish them. Liz sensed this, and mentioned, in such a casual tone, that oh yeah! – something’s leaking in the basement.

To date, here’s what’s leaked in the basement:

  • The aquarium, x3: powerhead wiggled off its mount and sprayed water out of the tank; gasket on the filter cracked; gasket on the CO2 diffuser wore out.
  • Crappy former homeowner repair on the kitchen sink drain.
  • Wash machine drain backing up.
  • I overflowed the coffee pot.

Each of these resulted in varying degrees of water damage. Ergo, to determine the level of severity and therefore the immediacy of action required, I asked some pointed questions, such as: “Where?” and “What?”. To which I received vague and somewhat unconcerned answers.

All right then, everyone out of bed! Trifle not with leaks.

Of course, nothing at that moment was leaking, so I performed a cursory inspection of the usual suspects. The aquarium was being good, and I’m happy to say that my kitchen sink plumbing repair was still in working order. So, I started turning on faucets.

Eventually, a small drip appeared in the laundry room. Following the path of gravity, which is generally straightforward, I was led here:

This was the copper drain line from the kitchen sink. At least it was unpressurized gray-water. But why would it start leaking now? The answer, as you might guess, was once again attributed to some dumbass thing a prior homeowner must have done.

This cross-beam joist support had apparently become detached, and someone partially hammered in extra nails to keep it from falling – not that it was doing anything at that point anyway. If there’s no lateral pressure from the joists, then it serves no function and should have just been pulled down when it separated. Instead, a barbarian with a hammer decided upon a more violent approach. Which led to…

…a punctured pipe.

I’m guessing that the only reason we’re seeing the leak now is that the nails had previously corroded to form a seal, but have now eventually corroded to the point where that seal is broken. I think I’ll pull the nails out and attach a rubber seal with a hose clamp, since there’s really no way to access the pipe for soldering without total disassembly. Then maybe someone else will complain about my own haphazard repair, but that will be minor in comparison to this boneheaded lack of attention to detail.

And maybe, this type of matter might be brought to my attention during waking hours in the future. Hmmmm……?

–Simon

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Hoard a Cord (pt.2)

Development has continued on the firewood holder, weather permitting. And of course, my own physical health permitting. So it’s been slow, but still progressing.

Hoard a Cord

Adding a roof was critical to the project. Keeping the wood off the ground and neatly stacked was the main goal, but keeping it dry and free of falling debris would negate the panicked run to restock the patio supply prior to a rain prediction. Plus, it’d look nicer. So, here I would learn how to build trusses.

I attached some 2x4s at a 10 degree angle – which seemed like a happy medium. It’s apparently the minimum grade for shingled roofs, and while I plan to attach leftover metal paneling from the house roof, it give me a little extra buffer.

Next, I added some decking planks as rafters to support the roof. Fairly straightforward:

Finally, some externally-rated OSB:

Unfortunately, the weather turned sour and halted work. I had hoped to get to the metal portion sooner rather than later, as the moisture is starting to warp the OSB. If that poses a problem, I might swap it out in favor of more deck boards. But that’s TBD.

In the meantime, it does conceptually work as intended. The wood, for the most part, is shielded from precipitation. Once I have a dry day I’ll get the metal on and finally be done with this.

–Simon

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Hoard a Cord

Or two!

…which is the most aggravating unit of measure. A cord of stacked firewood, which measures 4’x4’x8′, does not conveniently fit within any structure made of lumber, whose standard dimensions come in 4′ or 8′. Because the internal dimensions necessitate the outer frame to be longer, otherwise the wood cannot be overlapped in order to attach screws. What I needed was 4′,4″ and 8′,6″ boards, but they’re not sold in those lengths. So I had to buy 10′ versions, which was more expensive and generated a lot of waste.

But dammit, I would not be deterred. The accumulating piles of wood from my trees, due to easement reclamation, fungal disease, hurricanes, and general pruning, has left me with quite the back-logs (ha!). I wanted to finally process it all, and I wanted to stack firewood in exacting measurements, as well as be sure that future firewood providers were being truthful. So 10′ boards it would have to be, cut down to give me those exacting lengths.

Taking a cue from my previously-built tomato trellis, which is still firmly standing 5 years later, I opted for 4x4s, stuck 2 feet deep. That’s the maximum depth I can get post diggers down to, and historically that’s been sufficient to stay below the frost line. I doubt that with the weight of the wood that frozen ground pushing my posts out would be a problem anyway, but I’d rather not have to build this again. The rocky soil was certainly a pain, but fortunately I had supplemental manual labor to employ.

A bad design of engineering is to rely upon connecting hardware for load-bearing applications, so the supporting boards, which would hold the firewood off the ground, were rested upon sunken 2x4s, screwed into the outer frame. The goal being, the vertical support would rest directly upon the ground, rather than relying upon the main structure.

But not all firewood is cut to the same length, so in order to prevent smaller pieces from touching the ground, I installed fencing wire to shore up the gaps.

One cord down, I added a second identical section.

There are plans for a roof, using leftover metal sheeting from the house roof. I’m hoping it will match nicely, but the more pressing matter was to get the wood split and stacked for the changing seasons. And with the help of a newly-purchased splitter, it only took several weeks! Damn was that a lot of wood!

I’m glad that’s done. The wood situation needed addressing and I had been planning a storage solution for years. More pics to come once the roof is installed, but I’ll need some more time off for that. Hoping to wrap this up for 2025!

–Simon