Author: Simon

A middle-management banking title, AVP (Assistant Vice President) can mean whatever the company wants it to.  In my case, it appears to mean more to my employer than it does to other banks, as it’s defined with a higher pay band than the junior-level exempt positions, whilst other banks tend to use it solely to define a more senior employee, often devoid of significant pay delineation.  But regardless the salary details, the title identifies a certain managerial level–one specifically higher than a mere supervisor who manages a team’s time cards.

I am, at present, an AVP of Marketing Email Management (AVP, Email Manager, to be exact).

And with that grossly uninteresting introduction, I’ll segue to the actual joke.  As Liz also holds an AVP title at a financial company, we have modified the title in self-mockery of who we’ve become in regards to such socioeconomic standing.  We call it AVP-Ness (say it out loud if you’re having trouble getting it).  Clever, I know.  But it serves a useful function.  It’s a reminder to appreciate what we have and to keep hubris in check, as while job success requires a certain degree of experience and ability, possessing these qualities alone doesn’t guarantee success, to which anyone underemployed can attest.

And AVP-Ness can creep up unexpectedly.  But I will be the first to admit it!  Here are some examples:

And there you have it.  We have achieved success, but in the spirit of the Holidays and in the words of Bing Crosby, and overlooking the religious implications of the exact wording, “I count my blessings”, because “when my bankroll is getting small I think of when I had none at all”.

Hoping everyone had a good Christmas!

–Simon