Still, it’s cool every time. And I’ve certainly had my share of financial luck over the years. But if the wealthy elites throughout history have taught me anything, it’s that one can never have enough! Behold:
10 5-leaf clovers!
All from this lucky patch. Maybe there’s some uranium down there I could mine.
That means, I get a 10% raise. Or a 50% raise! Or maybe I start earning 10X my current salary! Or one of those stupid mutual funds I keep buying starts paying off?
Whatever the outcome, I’m looking forward to it!
…although, I’ve also learned from history’s elites that violent ends come to those with too much. So maybe I should keep my hopes reasonable. I’ll settle for the $10MM yacht, thank you.
I did manage to get some fishing done at the lodge. Nothing exciting – just a few bluegills. But my survival skills must be fully documented for posterity.
It would have taken a lot of effort to turn these little guys into morsels, so free they went. But I could have! Survival skills!
Of the expectations forced onto able-bodied men of my particular culture, few have been so consistently invoked as that of obligatory free labor. Actually, that’s not so unique to my own culture. That’s been a rather ubiquitous theme amongst the anthropology courses I’ve taken. The exploitation of this sect of society does tend to cause those within it to wonder of what its membership’s “privilege” objectively entails. Granted there may be some benefits to being a man, but remember that it’s still other men in positions of power and influence that subjugate the younger men, so it’s not as if Manhood as a whole is a close-knit brotherhood where we conspire to hold domain over women.
Then of course, there’s voluntary obligatory servitude. I might not want to rub my wife’s foot, but if it hurts I should help. I guess. Because, social contracts and such.
And with that perfect segue, let’s talk about the cottage!
Which I have now named Albatross Lodge. A master of literary subtlety, am I.
May my winded introduction provide the context:
A new kitchen counter install was required.And with that comes everything but the kitchen sink…And plumbing.And stairs. And Liz’s uncle Dave didn’t even throw things or insult my intelligence. It wasn’t like working on the house with my dad at all.
Will the albatross bring about my downfall until at last, like lead, it falls into the…lake? Or is it at present alive and a symbol of good fortune? I would hazard to guess that as long as the aforementioned social sect maintains it, it will remain the latter. And so, the willing obligatory servitude will continue to pay forward its benefaction, and as the complicated metaphor for which I’ve waxed prosaic stands, it shall so remain Albatross Lodge.
So here’s the trick, as I see it. May the internet BBQ community explode in outrage at what they think I did wrong:
Brine meat for a minimum of 12 hours. Just a standard salt and sugar brine here – nothing fancy needed. The flavor will come later.
Place meat unwrapped in smoker cold – both meat and smoker. No preheating.
Smoke at 170-200 degrees until internal meat temperature reads 160. Temperature is based on preference – colder smoking gives more contact time with smoke and therefore has a more smoky taste. Also I like cherry wood for pork so far.
Pull the meat at 160 (at this point, much of the water and most of the fat will have rendered out, and the collagen will start to liquefy, which you want to stay in the meat). Cover with rub. My rub base is ketchup, mustard, apple cider vinegar, and brown sugar. As a self-proclaimed pitmaster though, I won’t tell you my spice mix. But I will tell you that the rub shouldn’t taste very good on its own (like a marinade). If it makes you wince, you’re good to go.
Wrap meat tightly in aluminum foil. I prefer to remove the thermometer probes first and then punch through the foil. It’s easier, and creates a tighter seal.
Put the meat back in the smoker and cook at 275 until the internal meat temperature reads 205. This is the stage at which most of the collagen is liquefied. The next day’s leftovers will be a mass of meat and gelatin, which indicates successful collagen breakdown. This is good, even if it doesn’t look like it. Wiggle wiggle.
Place the meat, still wrapped and with meat probes, in a cooler. There’s no real reason to rest it as you would a steak, since the collagen isn’t significantly redistributing as water would. But resting it at this point will allow the collagen to continue to liquefy if any hasn’t yet, and it will gradually cool to a touchable temperature for pulling. More importantly though, this gives you a buffer by which you can finish smoking prior to dinner and time the preparation of side dishes. You could technically wait as long as you want until the temperature hits 140, at which point you’ll be in THE DANGER ZONE! OOOOOOOO!
Shred, stuff in face, and wait for your well-deserved adoration.
And you’re done! And it only took me 15 hours for an 8 pounder. It was, however, gone in 4 days. And now I know why you can’t get good BBQ at a restaurant. It just isn’t economical to spend that many man hours in our present day of Boomer chains (i.e. Applebees, Chili’s, Outback…)
But before I go old man ranting on you, get to the store and buy and pork butt!
