But only so I can keep drinking bourbon.
I mean, I don’t live in New Jersey. I don’t need to look like a big ripply and tanned turd to fit in. But I do need a reasonably healthy BMI and the body strength to handle maintenance and landscaping duties around the house. And so I do work out, with a simple chin-up bar and some weights.
But then Liz arranged to buy a used machine from a colleague–one of those complicated torture devices with the cables and pulleys–on the cheap. I’ve always been hesitant to use those things, as I’m under the assumption that isolation exercises don’t replicate a natural range of motion and so at best are minimally effective, and at worst physically damaging. Mostly though, they’re expensive, so now with the cost variable removed, I was willing to try.
So off we went to this dude’s house which he was selling and was completely devoid of any furniture save this machine he didn’t have room for anymore. And as the house was no longer occupied, the dust had begun to accumulate. And the lubricant had inevitably leaked out of the machine. It was gross and unwieldy.
I had hoped that we could selectively disassemble the thing into manageable chucks that fit into the back of the CR-V. In so doing, however, the cables tangled, and when we got back home the thing was a giant knot of cable and steel. We then threw it into the front lawn and sprayed it off.
Having lost patience with it for the day, it was cast into the basement, where it lay waiting for reassembly. But then we went on vacation.
Upon returning, I quickly grew tired of the mess and so began putting it back together. This proved to be no easy feat, as since the device was partially assembled, the instructions could not be sequentially followed. So I had to resort to deduction, and the instructions sucked anyway. And did I mention the thing was gross?
But its full assembly was inevitable.
It seems to work okay. A point of confusion was the pulley system that changes the weight resistance. Depending on which cable is pulled, a single plate can have 4 different poundages. I’m not terribly interested in quantifying my workout to that extent, but it did cause some initial confusion regarding my abilities and why my musculature seemed so wildly disparate.
And Liz and I can work out together now. That seems minor, but it’s far more motivating to be suffering alongside someone than alone. Now, when the weather ever decides to change into Spring, we’ll be properly conditioned for the upcoming gardening installations.
–Simon