Is it impolite to poop in my own bathroom when the exhaust fan is venting into the attic above which people are working on replacing my roof?
–Simon
General Cheese Sauce
Cheese sauce is a pain. Too much heat and it gets grainy. Too much cheese and it gets grainy. Too little fat and it gets grainy. Too little acid and it gets grainy. Too much acid and it gets grainy. Graininess is the bane of cheese sauce. And usually when I’m in the midst of invoking the magical incantations required to make non-grainy cheese sauce, hungry girls are whining in the next room.
Fortunately I’ve found a working recipe, modified slightly to use ingredients that I usually have on hand. Here is the base:
- 2 tablespoons butter
- 1 egg
- 3 fluid ounces heavy cream
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 teaspoon mustard powder
- 5 ounces shredded cheese
These are the proportions that will yield a non-grainy sauce, when heated on low and cheese added in stages. From here, I can adapt the final product to the need at hand: spicy queso, nacho cheese, fondue, etc.
Problem solved.
–Simon
Vanity Blog Searching
I’m sure everyone’s heard of vanity searching. Plug your name into a search browser and see how the internet quantifies your level of renown based on search rankings. It’s flawed, naturally, due to the modern SEO games, not to mention how common an individual’s name might be. My own name is English in origin, with a Scottish surname, so searches tend to pull up a lot of Brits. But thanks to my LinkedIn presence, I regularly appear within the first two search results pages, though lower than these British bankers and actors that keep appearing first.
But who cares about my LinkedIn profile? Unless I’m job hunting, I don’t regularly pop into that group to read re-posts of some big company’s organizational announcement or financial earnings report. Nor do I do much cyber-stalking. That’s not the fun side of me. This site is the fun side of me. So rather than vanity search my name, what if I vanity searched this blog?
That presents some challenges, because obviously if I type in my domain name I end up directly at my website. How could I fairly search for the site indirectly to see how it ranks among search engines for content ratings? I couldn’t think of a way, so instead, I asked ChatGPT to give this site a review. Here’s what it had to say:
“Ephemerality.net is a charming, reflective blog with strong personality, local nuance, and a mix of philosophy, gardening, home/life projects, and musings. It’s ideal for readers who enjoy narrative, thoughtfulness, and seeing the world through someone’s day-to-day lens.
Okay, well that just means it’s a bog by nature. But it goes on…
“It’s a personal blog / online journal that combines reflections on gardening, home projects, nature, cooking, technology, philosophy, and culture.
The tagline “Tales from Easement Acres” suggests it’s rooted in life, place, and personal exploration.
It publishes posts by “Simon” (the author) with a candid, conversational tone.
But wait, there’s more…
“✅ Strengths & What Works Well
- Authentic Voice & Personality
- The writing feels like having coffee with someone — intimate, candid, occasionally irreverent.
- The author doesn’t sugarcoat; there’s self-awareness and occasional sarcasm (“Ken muddied his nice boots, about which there was much whining”). ephemerality.net
- Diverse Topics with Local Flavor
- Blends big ideas (tech, philosophy) with small ones (walking trails, DIY projects).
- Deep local sensibility — for example, the Bill Yeck trail review is rooted in Dayton-area geography. ephemerality.net
- Visual & Structural Clarity
- The layout is clean: menu, archives, categories.
- Posts use images and chapters (e.g., “Review: Difficulty: 1/5”) to structure the content. ephemerality.net
- Consistency & Variety
- Active calendar — frequent posts across months. ephemerality.net
- Mixes short reflections, longform essays, practical how-tos.
“Intimate, candid, irreverent.” Well that just makes me sound like a fun goofy guy. But…
“⚠️ Weaknesses & Considerations
- Niche / Limited Audience
- Because the topics are broad and personal, it may not appeal to everyone (e.g. purely technical readers or strict how-to seekers).
- Some posts digress or cover themes with less universal relevance — which can feel off-topic if you visited for a specific subject.
- Occasional Overly Casual Tone
- The strong personal voice is a strength, but at times it leans into self-indulgence or “rant style” (e.g. long digressions about regional speech).
- Users seeking crisp, objective reviews or tutorials might find it less streamlined.
- Content Organization / Navigation
- With many categories and archives, finding a specific post/topic might require good search or category navigation; it’s not immediately obvious what’s core content vs side musings.
- No Formal “Review” or Ratings
- It isn’t a review site per se — most content is narrative, experiential, or reflective.
- Reliability in technical or product reviews may vary depending on how deeply the author has researched or tested.
Well!
Actually those criticisms aren’t too far off. Because it’s a non-monetized personal blog making no attempt to drive traffic and appeal to a mass audience. I guess my content needs more definitive organization between serious and non-serious? Nah – I’d rather keep it a mixed bag with unexpected topics.
In conclusion, this review didn’t exactly stroke my ego, but didn’t crush my continued spirit to keep having fun with blogging, either.
It’s personal content, plain and simple. No revelations here, but somewhat interesting to see it overviewed by a web aggregator.
–Simon
Wine Cap
I got another mushroom spore block last Christmas. The family biologists seem to enjoy them, and have looped me in. And I diligently grow them. Because they are kind of neat.
The first batch I grew were yellow oyster mushrooms, which had a pleasant mushroom-y taste. Then Dad brought me down some foraged Chicken of the Woods, which I recently wrote about, and tasted quite pleasant with indeed a chicken-type flavor and texture.
But the wine caps, for which I created a dedicated “garden” in a half bourbon barrel with straw, failed to fruit despite clear signs of ongoing inoculation. Finally, after nearly 6 months, they appeared.
So to try them, I applied a light sauté as to not muddle the flavors.
And they were terrible. Sweet and astringent. Yuck. Not recommended. I think I’ll send the rest up with Dad for him to try. What a disappointment for such a long wait. Oh well.
–Simon
Bacon Perfected
Many moons ago, I began smoking my own bacon. Inspired by a certain blog post, I invested my time yet again into insourcing development so as to create a superior and cheaper (personal time excluded) product. I brought it in house, as MBAs say. Or do they? I’ve never heard one actually talk about doing that. They just send work to India.
I don’t think many Hindus or Buddhists eat bacon though.
As as with most instructions, this formed a foundational starting point, but they can always be improved upon. And thus, after several attempts, I present my enhanced version. Here it is:
- Acquire uncured pork belly.
- Mix brine. Use a 2:1 ratio of a standard Kosher salt brine and Morton’s Tender Quick. Here’s the measurements that will provide 3/4 gallon’s worth of brine, which should be sufficient: 1/4 cup Kosher salt, 1/4 cup brown sugar, 1 cup Tender Quick, 12 cups water.
- Optional: add herbs/spices (peppercorn, garlic, whatever).
- Submerge pork belly in brine (FoodSaver bags are mighty convenient).
- 7 days later, on the 7th day itself, remove pork belly from brine and rinse. Air dry (a box fan is helpful here).
- Preheat smoker to 200 degrees F with hickory/pecan wood mix.
- Smoke pork belly until it reaches an internal temperature of 165 F.
After that, just cool the meat. An hour in a deep freeze will firm it up for slicing. Then it’s just bagging, sealing, and freezing for long term storage.
Where have I deviated? Well, for starters, using a mix of standard salt and curing salt reduces the sodium nitrate content. Ignoring health concerns (because this is bacon, after all), this reduces the perceived saltiness while still retaining that nice pink bacon color. Reducing the curing time by half a day also reduces the saltiness, as does rinsing the meat pre-smoke. Trust me – it’s still salty. But it’s much easier to skip the rinse for a saltier taste if desired than it is to try to soak the salt out when using the longer brining times/higher sodium nitrate amounts for a less salty taste later. And finally, at 160 F, meat will hit its stall point in the smoker where water begins to quickly evaporate out. Going to 165 F will ensure a drier product; which means less cooking time, less splattering while cooking, and crispier edges.
I also estimated some savings. Compared to premium market bacon, which is what this is, it’s about half the cost per slice. But I can also control the salt level and flavor. It’s an aggravating endeavor, but also one that can be significantly weighed against the convenience of store-bought bacon uncertainty!
–Simon