Category: Projects

Posted on

Hoard a Cord (pt.2)

Development has continued on the firewood holder, weather permitting. And of course, my own physical health permitting. So it’s been slow, but still progressing.

Hoard a Cord

Adding a roof was critical to the project. Keeping the wood off the ground and neatly stacked was the main goal, but keeping it dry and free of falling debris would negate the panicked run to restock the patio supply prior to a rain prediction. Plus, it’d look nicer. So, here I would learn how to build trusses.

I attached some 2x4s at a 10 degree angle – which seemed like a happy medium. It’s apparently the minimum grade for shingled roofs, and while I plan to attach leftover metal paneling from the house roof, it give me a little extra buffer.

Next, I added some decking planks as rafters to support the roof. Fairly straightforward:

Finally, some externally-rated OSB:

Unfortunately, the weather turned sour and halted work. I had hoped to get to the metal portion sooner rather than later, as the moisture is starting to warp the OSB. If that poses a problem, I might swap it out in favor of more deck boards. But that’s TBD.

In the meantime, it does conceptually work as intended. The wood, for the most part, is shielded from precipitation. Once I have a dry day I’ll get the metal on and finally be done with this.

–Simon

Posted on

Dad’s Automat

I first encountered this term with a print of the Edward Hopper painting. I’ve always liked his Nighthawks – something about the American diner. That period in our collective history always interested me. The couple out late, grabbing a meal at what was probably the only open restaurant, dressed formally in the manner of the 1940s. A captured moment, open to viewer extrapolation.

But Automat, is older. Late Guilded Age. Money doesn’t fulfill the soul. As we all feel on some level in our present time, access to material goods and comfort also cultivates loneliness and a purposeless existence. Like dining alone in an airport: there’s a degree of success behind the circumstances of the situation, but the moment itself is empty. That sort of thing.

But let’s move on from artistic realism and get back to the Automat itself. Etymologically speaking, the word itself doesn’t appear to have any reference to food. Like we’d use the term “self-serve” today: it doesn’t specify what we’re getting, but it’s assumed that food is involved. It’s a vending machine on a large scale, with diverse origins, if you want to go down that rabbit hole. As a concept, it’s nothing new, but the specific method of application is what defines it: single serving meals, purchased individually, through mechanically automated means.

In American history, it refers to the Horn & Hardart restaurants. They made a few appearances in John Cheever stories, as those were set in the New York City region and surrounding areas. And there’s a cool documentary about them with Mel Brooks. They appear ingrained within a specific dimensional coordinate. So if one makes an appearance in any form of media, it’s a marker for a unique time and place.

But that doesn’t mean it can’t be a useful concept now. As the head chef of my domestic space, there are some constant culinary conundrums when cooking for my coterie:

  1. It can be difficult to make certain meals that only offer 3 portions, like casseroles and soups and roasts.
  2. Leftovers tend to sit in the fridge until they go bad, because no one wants to eat the same thing for lunch the next day, or the day after.
  3. Leftovers banished to the freezer get forgotten, and when remembered, no one wants to spend the time the thaw out the meal again. Plus that’s a whole meal, which means if it’s thawed, that’s what everyone is having for dinner, negating choice.
  4. A good lunch takes too long to make. I’m working. I don’t want to spend that time cooking, only to make a mess and then have to cook again for dinner. And ordering food is expensive.

The natural answer is to portion out the leftovers and freeze them. But that doesn’t solve issue 3. Convenience is a big factor. We need both individual portions that are also quickly accessible. An in, not buried in the deep freezer.

Presenting, Dad’s Automat!:

Placed on the refrigerator freezer door is now a menu list, indicating options which lie within. A selection of items without overwhelming choice. And all conveniently labeled:

So far, it’s sort of working. Items get eaten for lunches, and they’re for the most part healthier than what my kid’s culinary abilities usually conjure up as an after-school snack.

Just don’t tell my sister about the amount of plastic this is using.

–Simon

Posted on

Hoard a Cord

Or two!

…which is the most aggravating unit of measure. A cord of stacked firewood, which measures 4’x4’x8′, does not conveniently fit within any structure made of lumber, whose standard dimensions come in 4′ or 8′. Because the internal dimensions necessitate the outer frame to be longer, otherwise the wood cannot be overlapped in order to attach screws. What I needed was 4′,4″ and 8′,6″ boards, but they’re not sold in those lengths. So I had to buy 10′ versions, which was more expensive and generated a lot of waste.

But dammit, I would not be deterred. The accumulating piles of wood from my trees, due to easement reclamation, fungal disease, hurricanes, and general pruning, has left me with quite the back-logs (ha!). I wanted to finally process it all, and I wanted to stack firewood in exacting measurements, as well as be sure that future firewood providers were being truthful. So 10′ boards it would have to be, cut down to give me those exacting lengths.

Taking a cue from my previously-built tomato trellis, which is still firmly standing 5 years later, I opted for 4x4s, stuck 2 feet deep. That’s the maximum depth I can get post diggers down to, and historically that’s been sufficient to stay below the frost line. I doubt that with the weight of the wood that frozen ground pushing my posts out would be a problem anyway, but I’d rather not have to build this again. The rocky soil was certainly a pain, but fortunately I had supplemental manual labor to employ.

A bad design of engineering is to rely upon connecting hardware for load-bearing applications, so the supporting boards, which would hold the firewood off the ground, were rested upon sunken 2x4s, screwed into the outer frame. The goal being, the vertical support would rest directly upon the ground, rather than relying upon the main structure.

But not all firewood is cut to the same length, so in order to prevent smaller pieces from touching the ground, I installed fencing wire to shore up the gaps.

One cord down, I added a second identical section.

There are plans for a roof, using leftover metal sheeting from the house roof. I’m hoping it will match nicely, but the more pressing matter was to get the wood split and stacked for the changing seasons. And with the help of a newly-purchased splitter, it only took several weeks! Damn was that a lot of wood!

I’m glad that’s done. The wood situation needed addressing and I had been planning a storage solution for years. More pics to come once the roof is installed, but I’ll need some more time off for that. Hoping to wrap this up for 2025!

–Simon

Posted on

Wine Cap

I got another mushroom spore block last Christmas. The family biologists seem to enjoy them, and have looped me in. And I diligently grow them. Because they are kind of neat.

The first batch I grew were yellow oyster mushrooms, which had a pleasant mushroom-y taste. Then Dad brought me down some foraged Chicken of the Woods, which I recently wrote about, and tasted quite pleasant with indeed a chicken-type flavor and texture.

Chickens Don’t Live in the Woods

But the wine caps, for which I created a dedicated “garden” in a half bourbon barrel with straw, failed to fruit despite clear signs of ongoing inoculation. Finally, after nearly 6 months, they appeared.

So to try them, I applied a light sauté as to not muddle the flavors.

And they were terrible. Sweet and astringent. Yuck. Not recommended. I think I’ll send the rest up with Dad for him to try. What a disappointment for such a long wait. Oh well.

–Simon

Posted on

Bacon Perfected

Many moons ago, I began smoking my own bacon. Inspired by a certain blog post, I invested my time yet again into insourcing development so as to create a superior and cheaper (personal time excluded) product. I brought it in house, as MBAs say. Or do they? I’ve never heard one actually talk about doing that. They just send work to India.

I don’t think many Hindus or Buddhists eat bacon though.

As as with most instructions, this formed a foundational starting point, but they can always be improved upon. And thus, after several attempts, I present my enhanced version. Here it is:

Meat
  1. Acquire uncured pork belly.
  2. Mix brine. Use a 2:1 ratio of a standard Kosher salt brine and Morton’s Tender Quick. Here’s the measurements that will provide 3/4 gallon’s worth of brine, which should be sufficient: 1/4 cup Kosher salt, 1/4 cup brown sugar, 1 cup Tender Quick, 12 cups water.
  3. Optional: add herbs/spices (peppercorn, garlic, whatever).
  4. Submerge pork belly in brine (FoodSaver bags are mighty convenient).
  5. 7 days later, on the 7th day itself, remove pork belly from brine and rinse. Air dry (a box fan is helpful here).
  6. Preheat smoker to 200 degrees F with hickory/pecan wood mix.
  7. Smoke pork belly until it reaches an internal temperature of 165 F.

After that, just cool the meat. An hour in a deep freeze will firm it up for slicing. Then it’s just bagging, sealing, and freezing for long term storage.

Where have I deviated? Well, for starters, using a mix of standard salt and curing salt reduces the sodium nitrate content. Ignoring health concerns (because this is bacon, after all), this reduces the perceived saltiness while still retaining that nice pink bacon color. Reducing the curing time by half a day also reduces the saltiness, as does rinsing the meat pre-smoke. Trust me – it’s still salty. But it’s much easier to skip the rinse for a saltier taste if desired than it is to try to soak the salt out when using the longer brining times/higher sodium nitrate amounts for a less salty taste later. And finally, at 160 F, meat will hit its stall point in the smoker where water begins to quickly evaporate out. Going to 165 F will ensure a drier product; which means less cooking time, less splattering while cooking, and crispier edges.

I also estimated some savings. Compared to premium market bacon, which is what this is, it’s about half the cost per slice. But I can also control the salt level and flavor. It’s an aggravating endeavor, but also one that can be significantly weighed against the convenience of store-bought bacon uncertainty!

–Simon