Category: Observations

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Pander to Me

While I consider myself to be inter-generational, my year of birth does place me into the Millennial bracket, technically. Consequently, I’m no stranger to the accusations of snowflake-dom by the older crowd. It gets a little irksome, considering the now well-studied economic disparity between the age ranges. To be labeled as sensitive and possessing an intangible need to be acknowledged for my individuality as compensation for a presumed overly-comfortable upbringing and fragile ego shows a very limited viewpoint. Also perpetuated is the false notion that Millennials are poor because we lack motivation, which is of course the result of these stereotypes. If I worked harder and didn’t whine so much then I would have money I guess.

And yet – call a Boomer out on any argumentative fallacies and all too often the backlash is exactly what would be expected of one with such a fragile ego themselves. Even my father, who’s in comparison not overly Boomer-y and seemingly rather self-reflective, throws down awfully quick if poked too hard in generational jesting. As a whole, they do love to cast the gauntlet, but respond in outrage if someone picks it up, as if they never expected anyone younger to defend their own honor. I would hazard to guess this is because they’re used to being customers to a Millennial-staffed service world who weren’t allowed to defend themselves on threat of losing their already meager financial situation.

But just as Boomers couldn’t fathom a world in which Millennials could stand up for themselves, I, who for his adult lifetime has been part of this marginalized age-based demographic, couldn’t fathom what the counterattack represented: the power dynamic had shifted – where significant financial assets were now in the possession of a younger generation – a world that began to pander to me. When did that happen?

I think it began a long time ago, but with subtle change: with Apple’s iTunes store and Netflix’s video streaming service. With music albums and bundled cable packages being cost-prohibitive to the financially disadvantaged, Apple saw an opportunity for an a la carte option, and Netflix for what was essentially an on-demand bulk movie rental service. There was a market opening for cheaper ad-free curated media devoid of time slots, built for a customer base that couldn’t commit to penalty-laden contracts, daily prime time TV-watching availability, and with an unwillingness to buy more than what was wanted. The industry in its raw Capitalism indirectly gave power to those it sought to exploit – by giving them what they wanted. Intentional or not, they acknowledged Millennials.

And then things got even better once Millennials acquired money and property – another change that Boomers couldn’t mentally digest. I’ve noticed a trending alignment between what I want and what the world around me wants, and I can only assume that this means that the people in control have an increasing motivation to give me and my generation what we want (again, because we have money now). Some things are more observational than measurable, so this is far from scientific. But the general feeling is there. Here’s some recent local developments:

  • Increasing closure rate of local big box chain stores.
  • Increased pressure to improve city aesthetics.
  • Influx of independent restaurants and bars.
  • City veto to approve a new gas station builds.
  • Failed passing of state amendment increasing majority vote to 60%.
  • Successful passing of state amendment protecting right to abortion.
  • Passing of municipal park levy.
  • Marijuana regulation and decriminalization.
  • …And a sidewalk was installed in my neighborhood.

These items correspond exactly to my last cast ballot, but they also demonstrate a significant shift away from the world I knew just 20 years ago. Back then, the ethos was more big business, more cars, bigger roads, and being tough on crime. Not to mention the constant excuses to budget cut anything in the public sector. Boomers love budget cuts.

Now it would appear that we’re moving away from a philosophy of authoritarianism, uncontrolled growth, and monetary pursuit; and into a world that’s more aligned with improving the general quality of life for everyone, rather than fetishizing Reagan-ism and Gekko-ism.

The shift itself has increased Boomer hostility, and it’s not that younger generations are being sensitive. It represents what they can’t accept – impending Boomer obsolescence, and Millennials finally getting a say in shaping the future. It’s a power dynamic that Boomers are losing, and few have ever been eager to relinquish that power willingly, least of all the Boomers.

But at long last, I can sit silently and smugly watch the inevitable.

“You can’t stop what’s coming. It ain’t all waiting on you. That’s vanity.”

–Simon

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Dramatic Emphasis in News

Basic news stories are pretty bad at pumping up the drama. And the ones that really irritate me for some reason are the stories involving violence, because these are the stories that don’t need any emphasis in order to invoke an empathetic response in a normal person. I’ll add a warning now that this is a just a cranky old man post.

Here are the two that annoy me the most:

  • Razor sharp
  • Point blank

“Man attacks wife with knife” vs “Man attacks wife with razor sharp knife”. While my first instinct as a blade connoisseur would judge this to be a courtesy (it’d be more efficient and quicker to kill someone with a sharp knife), it’s an unnecessary, and probably inaccurate claim, unless the man were actually trying to murder his wife with a straight razor. Why? Because no blades except razors are sharpened to razor thinness, because most knives would suffer blade longevity for their designated tasks if sharpened that fine. So either 1) the weapon was a shaving razor (some questions arise in my mind were that actually the case, 2) the man actually sharpened a k-bar to a razor (maybe, if the steel could actually hold that edge, or 3) the man used a sushi knife (maybe there were some dinner plan arguments taking place). In all likelihood, the knife wasn’t razor sharp and this was just an attempt to make the story sound scarier.

“Man shoots wife in bedroom” vs “Man shoots wife point blank in bedroom”. (I’m not advocating for wife-killing here-just keeping the story the same for consistency.) First of all, unless the bedroom was the size of a stadium, it’s point blank distance. And even if the bedroom was the size of a stadium, it could still be point blank. A 150 grain 30-06 rifle round has a point blank range of ~300 yards. It should be noted here that point blank means the distance at which the shooter doesn’t have to correct for gravity drop. Now, a contact shot on the other hand means the muzzle was pressed against the victim at the time of shooting, to which I’d agree that if that were true, it might imply more of an emotionally-charged motive. So either the news was wrong or they used the wrong terminology.

Violence is scary enough. I don’t need the emphasis. And if you’re an editor and simply can’t resist, use the right terminology.

If I die by violence, please be accurate.

–Simon

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Twisted Metal Black

I reached into my pants and pulled it out. Gripping it firmly, I held it out to the her. She wanted it.

Then she motioned to the contactless tap to pay terminal in front of her. I obliged, bringing my Amazon Prime credit card into RFID range, completing my transaction at Whole Foods and earning 5% back.

It was the first new credit card I had applied to in years, solely on the grounds of the Amazon and Whole Foods rewards rate. It was enough, I had decided, to offset my harsh judgment of private labels, as was the Lowe’s credit card. Unlike the Lowe’s card, however, the Amazon card is a cool steel-grey black and laminated metal. It seemed odd, considering the modern switch to pay methods that induce less physical stress on the material, or no need at all for the physical card itself, for a bank to choose a more durable construction.

The industry shift of course was a direct result of the first metal card, the Amex Centurian card–that invite-only heavy black metal card with no spending limit; mentioned in rap songs and business executive stories involving consort services and cocaine. I admit that I haven’t tried to buy either with my Amazon card, but I’m just not feeling like a badass when I drop down my own heavy metal card.

I was outdone from the start anyway. At a family gathering, my sister-in-law produced her expired Venture card, equally as amused at its metallic nature. But it seems there’s no standard, as her card was significantly heavier. She lamented on how she was to dispose of it – a conundrum I hadn’t yet considered, as my own card was still valid. Up for the challenge, and confident in my beefy commercial-grade shredder at home, I offered to dispose of it for her.

The machine kicked to life and gave it a solid effort, then jammed. I had to employ vice grips and a prybar to, thankfully, save my shredder.

Banks now say to not use shredders. Don’t ignore this advice.

My next attempt what somewhat less graceful: a propane torch.

Cough cough.

That worked, but couldn’t have been very good for me to inhale burning plastic fumes. I suppose I could have used my metal shears, but that strikes me as a little too much effort to forever scatter the printed numbers. So I checked some bank websites for official instructions, and they say to mail the card back to them. That’s even sillier than making a metal card in the first place.

I’m open to other suggestions, but all the disposal methods I can think of involve more work than a shredder. I guess that’s the price we have to pay for trying to feel like millionaires.

–Simon

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Hard Bondage

And ye shall the Hebrews from Goshen be freed from their hard bondage and set to the land of milk and honey.

“Let my people go! From hard bondage.”

I am obviously not a scholar of religious text. Nor is the above an actual quote, I don’t think. Nor does Exodus have anything to do with Easter…right?

But I do enjoy MGM’s 10 Commandments. And as I’ve blocked from memory anything previously learned in Bible study, that film has become my scripture go-to. It’s either that or read one of the 4 Bible’s on the bookshelf that we have for some reason. The things we inherit.

I present to you now this image, seen as a recurring billboard ad throughout the American Midwest. Noticed repeatedly whilst traveling to Wisconsin, and much mocked along the way.

Questions arise.

  • Why the wording choice?
  • Why is this such a bad sin as to warrant the ad’s frequency?
  • Why the BDSM theme?

I assume that the the intent of course is to rouse within those so shackled a desire most loathsome and overpowering that they might be inclined to call for salvation.

Be that the case, then those chains should at least be padded. Amateurs.

–Simon

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Cold and Snowy (Part 3)

As per usual, here’s my post-holiday winter post, recapping whatever I was up to in January last year.

Also here’s the first good winter snow of the season

Aside from that, the holidays were stressful as usual and too action-packed for my liking.  So here’s a toast to the new year, and the holidays being concluded once more:

Huzzah!

–Simon