Category: Observations

Remember that story with the little people who would steal insignificant items from around the house in order to craft useful tools needed for their survival?  It was a humorous take on the phenomenon of small and low-value clutter vanishing, seemingly without explanation.  It’s an innocent way to cope with the irritations of their misplacement.

Yet, fantasy aside, I notice a certain parallel between this event and the real world, specifically at work.  Why?  This building, a former military structure, might harbor the remnants of tiny X-Files-esque creatures, and that would be a far more entertaining explanation, but the more rational conclusion is that people as a whole posses flexible morals–which is a nice way of saying they’re lowlife thieving bastards.

“If it isn’t yours, don’t touch it.”  It’s a very simple bit of life guidance imparted by mothers upon their children, and then quickly disregarded.  Even in those days, school supplies and personal trinkets would go missing from my desk and wall-cubby–the problem being that personal storage at school had no means of security.  Once the scholarly youth reach a certain age, we apparently begrudgingly acknowledge that their innocence has been lost, and provide them with lockers.  Overnight, this solves the problem of theft.

From this moment on, we’re taught the basics of personal security.  We lock up our houses, cars, computers, and phones.  Any personal item not on our person gets secured.  Digital information receives encryption and access control.  Then we go to work and apparently, we completely un-learn everything we’ve ever learned about security, regressing back to grade school.  We’re issued cubicles which by their very nature are about as low-security as you can get.  And despite the regular lectures we receive about building security, the edifice is apparently so low-security that people have accidentally found their way into it, mistaking it for the courthouse next door, all the while patrolled by a security force too young to even buy beer.

Certainly everything could get locked in desk drawers, but that limits the efficiency of even having a desk if you have to go constantly rummaging.  Also, being human, it’s nice to have a small degree of personal effects upon my desk, such as photos, to remind me why I even come to work at all (it isn’t to fill empty time or to find meaning in my life).  And in my tenure with this company, things have gone missing from my desk.

Now, why do people steal?  I’ve pondered this question, but in the context of an office setting, I can’t think of a better explanation than “I want that”–so basic greed and self-serving motivations.  This isn’t a very interesting concept to explore, as it’s a basal animal reaction to a stimulus, so instead I focus on an observation: not why people steal, but what.

Based on past experiences, I find the items that go missing are valued at around $5 and hold no apparent sentimental value: decorations and office supplies.  These are items which could be requisitioned by the administrative assistants, or purchased at any general retailer, but apparently that’s too much trouble.  I’m assuming people, not without mom’s words of wisdom, have a general aversion to causing others pain, and so limit their thefts to items of low value so as not to cause financial stress, and avoid sentimental items because of the emotional pain their loss would inflict.  In the thief’s mind, the stolen item then isn’t all that important, so there isn’t much guilt involved with the crime, and besides, they could always justify the act as borrowing, like the person who borrowed my ruler…3 years ago? (I’m still waiting for its return).

Life lessons are always bitter.  I’ve learned to limit my desktop to pictures and general office supplies whose loss wouldn’t really upset me.  It’s an impersonal and spartan work environment, unquestionably impacting morale.  Maybe in another 10 years, my pay-band will net me an office.

–Simon