The Weak Are Meat; The Strong Do Eat

Dawn broke.  With a deep breath, I analyzed the the thick morning air.  I sampled its nuances, sensing the fear.  Wildlife everywhere trembled in anticipation of the hunt to come.  I rose, eager for the stalk.

I’d like to say that’s how the day began, but I’ve never been a morning person.  When I was a child, it was my sister who woke me for Saturday morning cartoons.  High school fared no better, as evening extracurricular activities intruded upon homework and leisure time, and in turn brought about a later bed time, which naturally led to morning routine difficulties.  In college, I worked after class, often closing the department at 10PM.  After college, I worked second shift for years.  It is only recently that I began working normal hours, but the actions of a lifetime have driven deep habitual behavior, and I find my body very unwilling to change its customs now.

Instead, the alarm went off at my usual 6AM, whereupon I followed a standard routine to deliver the kid to school.  Then, after brewing a pot of coffee and loading the hunting gear into dad’s car, the ruthless caveman hunters that we were began our journey in the comforts of a climate controlled sedan.  I admit–modern hunting is definitely a privileged man’s sport, a far cry from its beginnings as a survival activity, and certainly a pretty pathetic claim at representing the planet’s apex predator.

Our destination was the Clark Lake Wilderness Area.  In years prior, we had struggled to find bountiful hunting grounds, and out of sheer chance, I had discovered this little alcove.  It was obviously set aside for one purpose–hunting.  It’s very design made this implication clear, having landscaping engineered to match the natural habitat of indigenous prey.  But more importantly, it was the only place we had tried in this region that had netted results.  So it was an easy decision to make.

Map courtesy of the ODNR

The road terminates in a parking lot on the eastern side of the lake, and this is where the large wooded lot resides.  However, if you look on the map above, the parking lot just west of that is in a clearing, and in that clearing is an isolated grouping of 3 trees.  The last time we hunted here, on the way out of the woods, with no kill to our bag yet, I saw squirrels in those trees.  At the time, I had yelled at dad to stop the car, and I leapt from it (while it was still moving) with my 20 gauge and ran across the clearing to get in range.  I managed to drop two squirrels with my single shot shotgun.  So this time, as we made our way back upon the old road, dad joked about that time prior, and suggested we check there first.

He immediately spotted 3 squirrels.  I, being unsurprisingly less agile than I was in years past, methodically laced my boots and donned my gear, figuring squirrels generally pay no heed to humans.  Of course, this false assumption was based upon my interactions with suburban squirrels.  By the time I was ready, these squirrels had vacated, save one, who scampered up a tree and hid.  So we waited.

Eventually, as we were giving up, I saw a flick of the tail.  Perhaps it was the extensive time I’ve had with that one weapon, or perhaps it was a trained muscle reflex, or indeed it was my ruthless predatory instincts, or all of the above; but I immediately dropped the squirrel with a single shot.

But the shot had missed the brain stem.  The unfortunate creature twitched for a time, until dad finished it off with his knife.  I winced as he pithed it.  But part of why I hunt is to remind myself what’s behind the meat we so readily buy.  There’s always a cost in suffering, and taking a personal hands-on approach drives this point home.

Moving on, we followed a deer trail, it was my turn to jest about a second particular tree that had yielded a squirrel last time.  Moments later, a red squirrel began running down that very tree.  I fired as he hit a patch of twigs, so I didn’t see the impact, but he fell into the mired jungle behind, and I got thoroughly soaked from the knees down trying to retrieve him from the brush.  The week’s rain and the evening dew had saturated the undergrowth.  But, two squirrels we now had.

An old man in his natural habitat

We continued to the main wooded lot and split up.  I note dad chose the easier path, whilst I got the jungle.  Between the blackberries, the garden spiders, the water, the humidity, and the rising temperature; I found the experience trying (I later referred to it as a Vietnam simulator, to which dad thought I was being overly-dramatic).  I did see another red squirrel, and I fired, but I was bogged down at the time and just slightly too slow.  He got to see another day.

Not long after, I heard a shot, and presumed correctly that dad had bagged a squirrel of his own.  I knew from experience that he moves painfully slow through the woods, but when I tried to slow my own pace, I discovered a cloud of mosquitoes had identified me as a mobile buffet.  Then I ran into another couple hunters, so there was just too much movement to hope to find anything else.  I tried to find dad.

Yet dad, despite the orange vest, always proves elusive, and I had to resort to modern technology.  But it’s not every day that someone sends a text to rendezvous at the dry stream bed.  Here’s another reason I hunt–the joy of practicing land navigation skills.  Whilst traversing wilderness, it behooves the adventurer to remember enough features so as to find the way back (sans-smartphone).  Thankfully, I’m still good enough at it that I knew immediately where he was.  And sure enough, he had a squirrel.  One’s a success, three’s a bounty.  Dirty and sweaty, we left for home.

And I’ll note that dad jumped in the shower right away, leaving me to do the cleaning.  But like the killing, it serves as a reminder.  Eating meat is a privilege, and requires a lot of unpleasantness first.

Squirrel reminds me of a really mild pork, and as woodland squirrels subsist on nuts and fruit, are probably of a much higher quality than anything store-bought.

A few hours in the crockpot yielded a tasty stew.  Even the kid ate it.  Liz–not so much.  Her culinary curiosities apparently have their limits, and eating tree-rat was beyond them.

Some celebratory bourbon and the old man was out.  Each time we hunt, I tell him when he’s old and useless I’ll just shoot him in the woods.  But I think the kid still needs her grandpa, so I’ll keep him around a little longer.  That, and then who would I go hunting with?

Next up, it’s wabbit season.

–Simon

Crunchy on the Outside

Who would have thought that orthopteras were just so darn munchable?  This is one of those experiences I just have to share, so I’ll start with the image.  I saw this during a trip to Jungle Jim’s:

Delicious and nutritious

Are these humanely killed?  Because I want cruelty-free chitin.

Why was the taxonomic name used?  I don’t expect a bag of jerky to be labeled as “bovine snacks” or such.

I hate it when my snackable arthropods have artificial preservatives.  Good on them for that.

I certainly don’t want to add unnecessary saturated fat to my diet.  I’m glad these are cooked healthily.

No MSG!  Excellent.  I don’t want flavor-enhancement to interfere with that natural earthy taste.  I also don’t want to eat a bag of bugs and not be satiated, because then they’d be like chips: you just can’t have one.

I like that logo with the fork being stuck into a bug.  Yum.

There isn’t much mystery in its origins, however: https://www.thailandunique.com/.  Visiting the website, bugs appear to be their specialty.

I wasn’t feeling adventurous.  I bought a can of duck liver instead.

–Simon

Swallowtail (Part 2)

This was likely not the pupated adult of the caterpillar I found on the dill, and it’s also a male, which means that my gardens are the social clubs for swallowtail butterflies.  Yay butterflies!

As with most sexually-reproducing species, the male wafts his pheromones to announce his presence (cologne), flaunts his colors (“Look at my clothes and car!”), and prances about to demonstrate his virility (peels out of the parking lot/plays football).  And yet, before we laugh and denounce the painfully obnoxious mating rituals of young males, remember that these behaviors only persist because females respond to them favorably.

Unlike humans, however, butterflies are minimally destructive, and to my hearing–silent.  So they can stay.  I saw this one fluttering about in the petunias in my daughter’s garden.

A male Palilio polyxenes

He seemed irritated with my presence, constantly flying away when I got close enough to get a picture.  Eventually, I got this image.  I was hoping to get a better shot of his wings, but decided to let him be after several minutes of harassment.  Good luck finding your mate, Mr. Swallowtail.

–Simon

Eclipse

Most of the news I consume is tech news.  This is primarily because it interests me, but also because the scope of this news type tends to overlap social/political events, and therefore still exposes me to the more standard news that everyone else consumes, while remaining more esoteric and as a result–averse to the more repugnant predilections of other news (I’m looking at you, Fox).

But there’s still a gap, and I was oddly ignorant of the impending solar eclipse until just before the event.  We as a people seem very divided on how much popular interest celestial events should garner.  There’s people who don’t seem to care at all, and people who care a lot.  Me?  When I found out, I leaned towards caring a lot, though not enough to make travel plans.

I had never seen a solar eclipse before.  The last one I recall was in the 90s, but it was far to the north and not visible where I was at the time (Texas).  I assume this was the same event Liz recounted, and while in grade school she was far enough north to view it, but for the anti-litigatory reasons of school systems, she was not allowed to watch.  However, she advised me that she defied authority and snuck a peek through the window, thus watching without protective eyewear and potentially causing the problem her school was seeking to avoid–and something that would have been easy to mitigate with cheap filters, had they just let the kids watch in the first place.

And so it was that my own daughter would have been prevented from partaking, had I not already scheduled the day off for unrelated reasons.  And as she is AM kindergarten, I was able to bring her home and offer her this experience.

But, there was a problem.  How was I to record this event without any specialized photographic equipment?  We had a pair of filters, which made for a really good first-person viewing, demonstrated as follows:

Astute observers may notice interesting objects in the background–I’ll get to that

Naturally, the thought progression led to taking a photo through the filters.  That didn’t turn out so well:

Option 2: projection.  Following some instructions for the pinhole in box method, I got a decent solar projection onto white paper, which I was then able to capture:

As the eclipse began, I took a second photo:

Later, I tried again:

It worked, but left something to be desired.  So, I considered lens magnification.  I had a pair of compact binoculars.  I angled them, which in itself was difficult, and eventually I managed to get a decent image:

The image was much sharper, but still I wanted something better.  Unfortunately, I didn’t have a telescope.  But, I did have one more optic device, and it had much bigger lenses–a rifle scope!

The trouble with this method is that it’s attached to a rifle (and rather unwieldy when the objective is to point it skyward with one hand).  The scope comes off, of course, but it’s been sighted, and I wasn’t willing to have to re-sight it just for this day’s project.  No, I would simply take the entire weapon outside.  Of course, it is my own damn yard and I’ll walk around it with a high-powered rifle if I damn well feel like it, but I’m also trying to be a decent neighbor, so I did feel a little guilty about brandishing a gun, but oh well.  Maybe it’ll keep the neighbor’s kids off my lawn for all of 5 minutes.

It was difficult to hold the rifle (it’s heavy) while trying to get a photo, but eventually I was rewarded for my efforts:

Again the image was a little sharper, and after numerous attempts I was satisfied that it was as good as I was going to get.  Then the moment of maximum coverage arrived and we simply watched with our own eyes.  Despite waning attention spans, I hope the experience will make lasting memories.

Then the neighbors starting lighting firecrackers to celebrate, and I became cognizant of the fact that I was waving a gun around while explosions which sounded a lot like gunshots were echoing across the neighborhood.  I put the weapon away.  It will certainly be a memorable experience to me.

–Simon

Anurans

During the last trip to Wisconsin, I commented on the large amount of baby American toads, apparently having recently hatched.  Due to the inevitable consequences of the food chain, there were far fewer this time, but the ones we did find were older and bigger.  The kid was equally amused with hunting them this time as she was last time.

Anaxyrus americanus

During our evening amphibian stalk, I caught a glimpse of some creature hopping away in panic–far quicker than the toads had.  Excited at the prospect of introducing my daughter to another species, I charged into the tree line, disregarding the fact that my footwear was ill-suited for such.  Nevertheless, I captured my quarry.

Lithobates sylvaticus

Initially, I misidentified it as a tree frog, but some research revealed it to be a wood frog, and apparently a very common species.  But common or not, I like frogs.  I suggested we go show it to grandma, but upon doing so were immediately forced to egress the cottage.  Apparently, moms just don’t appreciate wildlife indoors.

–Simon