Luck X6

The first time I found a 5-leaf clover, I was pretty excited.

I’ve since found a number of them.

Still, it’s cool every time. And I’ve certainly had my share of financial luck over the years. But if the wealthy elites throughout history have taught me anything, it’s that one can never have enough! Behold:

10 5-leaf clovers!
All from this lucky patch. Maybe there’s some uranium down there I could mine.

That means, I get a 10% raise. Or a 50% raise! Or maybe I start earning 10X my current salary! Or one of those stupid mutual funds I keep buying starts paying off?

Whatever the outcome, I’m looking forward to it!

…although, I’ve also learned from history’s elites that violent ends come to those with too much. So maybe I should keep my hopes reasonable. I’ll settle for the $10MM yacht, thank you.

–Simon

Albatross Lodge

Of the expectations forced onto able-bodied men of my particular culture, few have been so consistently invoked as that of obligatory free labor. Actually, that’s not so unique to my own culture. That’s been a rather ubiquitous theme amongst the anthropology courses I’ve taken. The exploitation of this sect of society does tend to cause those within it to wonder of what its membership’s “privilege” objectively entails. Granted there may be some benefits to being a man, but remember that it’s still other men in positions of power and influence that subjugate the younger men, so it’s not as if Manhood as a whole is a close-knit brotherhood where we conspire to hold domain over women.

Then of course, there’s voluntary obligatory servitude. I might not want to rub my wife’s foot, but if it hurts I should help. I guess. Because, social contracts and such.

And with that perfect segue, let’s talk about the cottage!

Which I have now named Albatross Lodge. A master of literary subtlety, am I.

May my winded introduction provide the context:

A new kitchen counter install was required.
And with that comes everything but the kitchen sink…
And plumbing.
And stairs. And Liz’s uncle Dave didn’t even throw things or insult my intelligence. It wasn’t like working on the house with my dad at all.

Will the albatross bring about my downfall until at last, like lead, it falls into the…lake? Or is it at present alive and a symbol of good fortune? I would hazard to guess that as long as the aforementioned social sect maintains it, it will remain the latter. And so, the willing obligatory servitude will continue to pay forward its benefaction, and as the complicated metaphor for which I’ve waxed prosaic stands, it shall so remain Albatross Lodge.

–Simon

Gangsta

As in, 1920s mobsters. Al Capone and The Untouchables and such. Cool gangsters. Not, you know…Glocks and that bitch better have my money…gangsters.

Of what do I speak? Well, remember that elitist pistol I bought unnecessarily for elitist reasons? The 1911, which I’ve name Suburbia?

Well, how better to carry a pistol I would never conceal carry but with a method by which I would never conceal carry?

The background detracts somewhat from the imposing and dashing figure of a man that I am.

I would never conceal carry a gun that, whether legally or illegally confiscated, I would fully expect to disappear from an evidence locker.

You talkin to me?

But give me a Capone goon’s salary and it might not matter. Look at that shoulder holster!

Well I’m the only one here.

Now I just need to solve some crime. Or cause some. Or somehow just be caught up in it.

And you better have my money.

–Simon

Foodies

I never was a foodie.  I always viewed an obsession with food as unhealthy.  Then I had two revelations:

  1. I don’t live in a foodie culture.  I live in an over-indulgence culture.  That I can’t order a lunch anywhere and be without leftovers is indicative of this.  When our agricultural system was streamlined and ownership consolidated, with production determined by government subsidy, we ended up with vast quantities of high-calorie and low-quality food–product that needs to be moved.  So food is cheap but not good.  We compensate by adding addictive flavor enhancers, then eating too much.  When contrasted with true foodie cultures, the ones that refuse to lower quality, we end up with small and expensive portions, that are overall lower in calories and additives, which also taste better naturally.  And we ridicule these people relentlessly (damn French!)
  2. Being descended from western European immigrants, the food I grew up with was of traditional peasant variety.  This alone didn’t make the food bad, but coupled with a lower middle class childhood, my mother’s food didn’t generally branch out into the more exotic ingredients out of basic economics.  And her own upbringing instilled the value of food being simply available, so to her standpoint being a foodie was having sufficient quantities and eating a lot.  And shut up and eat, because starving children in China.

These two points continually boost each other, and whether we blame capitalism or economic limitations as the initiator, the end result is that American middle class food culture is one of excess over quality.

But then I developed the technical skills required for cooking, and while my formative financial station kept me locked in the familiar mediocrity, my socioeconomic ladder-climbing provided exploratory means.  I realized that cooking, like any technical skill, could be quite rewarding when also risking failure (something money allows).  I argue with people on the true artistry of food preparation, but I don’t think many of us achieve that level.  We are not chefs.  We are cooks, executing known techniques to output a palatable result, which is not to say that the process is easy to learn, or not fun and interesting.

But enough of my sociological babble.  That was just an intro so I could show what I’ve been up to on the food front.

…which amusingly begins with peasant food!

Potatoes, onions, blood sausage, sauerkraut, and dumplings.  That’s pretty peasanty all right.  Filling and hitting all the macronutrients.  This was mainly to try the blood sausage, which I had never had before.  Like liver, it was unsurprisingly very rich and iron-y.  It was okay, but I don’t think I’ll get it again.

Next up, bread, which I don’t think qualifies as peasant food.  It predates that, being a standard subsistence food for humanity and the reason for agriculture’s genesis.  Well, that and beer.  Both cereal crops though.

But, this is no simple bread.  This is sourdough, and a wild strain at that.

Bread freaks go on and on about this–about how sourdough yeast is unique to the geographical region and by baking with it, the essence of said region has been captured.  However true that may be, it sounds a little too fanciful for some damn bread.  But it still holds an ounce of coolness, that I now posses the knowledge to create bread sans commercial yeast.  And unlike commercial yeasts, this one had a much stronger flavor.  I’ll try to keep that mother alive (the yeast one–the other one’s on her own).

And next, some more smoking successes.  While I can’t claim the other dishes on this table, I did smoke a turkey for the first time, to positive reviews.  I don’t know where exactly turkey fits in on the status scale, because it’s a holiday tradition food, so maybe it’s exempt altogether.

Turns out that smoking is indeed a viable cooking method.  I’ll try frying one of these years.

And last, also smoked–some more bacon.  Pork belly might have originated as low class food, but with its popularity and prices today, I think it achieved haute cuisine.  Noveau riche, perhaps.

Smokin’

Prior attempts were good, but this batch seems especially tasty.  Maybe that’s because of the meat slicer acquisition.  Uniform pieces make me feel professional…and bring back nightmares from a certain prior job.  Worth it.

Thick bacon!  Not that sissy store crap.

There we have it: good food, normal ingredients.  And while much of my cooking may have peasant origins, I can at least claim proper execution and variations in method.  But more importantly, I’ve learned to appreciate the result, not the quantity, of the final dish.  Perhaps I’m a true foodie after all.

–Simon