Tori

Whippets: one of the goofiest breeds of dogs.  Their dopey intellect combined with their lanky builds, incredible speed, laziness, and absolute demand that they snuggle and not sleep on the floor–gives them such a darned endearing personality.  It’s so endearing, that rarely can you find a whippet owner who only has one.

So it was that we acquired Tori–the whippet addendum.  Liz thought that Faye needed a whippet sister, but in reality I think that was just a response to this universal need to collect them.  After extensive searching, she found a vet who breeds, shows, and rescues whippets.  One of these rescues, Tori, was so nervous and scared that she was ill-suited for showing.  She sat around the vet’s office for a time, until she was sold to us.

Always a mama’s dog

When we picked her up, Tori was wearing a green handkerchief.  She was terrified of the change, and especially afraid of men–a fear which never fully dissipated.  She took cookies from Liz but not me.  We bought her her own cage, but she refused to used it–preferring to accompany Faye.  She quickly adapted to nights on the bed, however, but bit me once in fear when I came to join late one night.

That’s the dopey whippet look

She never outgrew her wariness of people, but time made her less cautious, and while it was a rare moment to see her play like a dog should, she would still bark when she wanted something, give paw incessantly when she was feeling especially whippety, and took cookies from anyone who offered.  She was a regal whippet, and never reduced herself to fighting with the rabble.  When Faye overstepped her boundaries, Tori would either push her aside, or growl; and that was enough.  The rest of the time she spent sitting in her chair in the bedroom–her throne–far from the noise and chaos of the world.

One of the few men she took a liking to was my dad

Yet she had her less-endearing peculiarities.  I never figured out why she loved bread so much, but she would steal it out of the trash and off the counter, making a giant mess of crumbs in the process.  And she stole bones.  In fact, she had a predilection for systematically removing every item from the trash, irrespective of its classification as food, and arranging the debris on the carpet.  But ultimately, she found her niche in the family.

Like all whippets, she loved the sun

Then she started losing weight.  Until this point, she had had her share of medical problems.  She had tumors, arthritis, and nerve pain; but she was strong and rarely complained about her ailments, and until now she had fought through them.  But her weight loss accelerated, so upon the vet’s recommendation, we started feeding her soft dog chow.  She scarfed that stinky stuff down and it helped for a time, but a couple weeks ago, she stopped eating this too, and began showing more overt signs of digestive problems.

One of her last lucid moments, before she stopped responding

She leaked blood, stopped moving, and became completely emaciated within days.  Suspecting the worst, we made a vet trip.  The diagnosis pointed to a ruptured ulcer, and lacking practical treatment options, we proceeded with euthanasia.  With all the stoicism I could conjure, I watched as the vet injected Tori, and within seconds, she stopped breathing.  The receptionist handed us tissues.  My composure failed.

I spent the day digging her grave.  I buried her with a can of that stinky chow and some cookies.  Liz adorned the site with daffodil and crocus bulbs.

Bye, Tori

I want my dog back, but I’d rather she didn’t hurt anymore.  I hope she has the comfiest chair and stinkiest chow, wherever she is.  I miss you, Tori.

–Simon

Over the Rainbow (Part 3)

When the word burns in thermonuclear fire, I’m going to miss these.  Behold, a pleasant Autumn rainbow–something we don’t get very often:

October 4, 2017; 18:04

–Simon

Eye of Newt

As a species, we’re obsessed with the metaphysical–a concept that has long predated the scientific method and its analysis of the empirical…and of course the two have always been at odds.  The latter offers explanations based on irrefutable perception, while the former is more supposition.  Perhaps it’s because the scientific method has and always will probably fail to answer every question that could ever be conceived by the powers of runaway brain growth and abstract cognition.

But historically, the greater unease has been the possibility that a mortal might tap into the metaphysical to produce very physical consequences.  It’s easy to be understanding of a deity, who presumably has the knowledge and intellect to manipulate the metaphysical in a responsible manner, but were a human to dabble in the occult and gain unearthly power over the physical, well then the conclusion could only be that this power will corrupt and the practitioner would become evil.

That’s one guess anyway, although I think the greatest influence on changing the public perception has been Christianity.  Alchemists and shamen became witches and heretics.  Then again, so too were prominent scientists in their day.  Maybe the greatest fear then was threatening the status quo and the balance of power.

Despite the lengthy introduction, this is not a post aimed to tackle these questions.  No, this is a post of inquisition, though not in the scary torture type of religious context.

I went out to split some firewood, and saw these:

Naturally curious at what appeared to be a magic circle, potion, and wand; I asked my daughter for an explanation.  Her simple answer: “It’s a spell.”  Unlike what some of her more distant relatives might have, I did not start splashing her in holy water and waving a rosary.  Rather, I was curious where she had learned about these things.  The color of the markings even resembled woad.  Interesting.  I wondered what she was conjuring.  Maybe she was trying to cure herself of the virus that had been plaguing her respiratory system for the last two weeks.

But upon further questioning, it was apparent that I had misheard.  A child’s soft palate had lended a lisp to her words.  It was not a spell.  It was a stove.  She had drawn a range and was cooking stew.  It was no attempt to bridge the material and metaphysical, no, it was a simple emulation of the culinary arts.

I admit, I was a little disappointed.  Then again, learning to cook is probably a more valuable life skill than making love potions.

–Simon

Autonomous Automobiles Auto…(something alliterative)

The car broke.

To clarify, Liz’s car broke.  It had chronic problems with the O2 sensor and electrical system shorting out, then she broke two axles and potentially the transmission.  In short: definitively kaput.

I had previously told her that it was my turn to get the next car, and I had long fantasized about buying my first new car, fed by rental experiences, because as with any form of technology, what I currently have immediately becomes obsolete and I grumble with jealousy as each new feature hits the market.  My car doesn’t even have a working radio anymore–a problem the kid has been consistently pointing out as we cruise down the road to my tech news podcasts playing from my phone on the passenger seat.

Yet in her impatience, Liz violated the arrangement and purposely broke her car so she could get an upgrade first.  That’s what I accused her of anyway.  She denies it, but I’ve also noted how her phones keep mysteriously breaking each year, hmmm.

An explanation more grounded in reality, however, is that her commute is much longer, and cars break down quickly.  AAA calculates the average cost per mile of driving to be 59.2 cents, so it costs her somewhere around $58 per day.  With most of that being highway driving, I’d say she uses 3 gallons of gas per day, which I’ll estimate as $6.87.  Therefore, let’s round it off and say each day, after subtracting gas from the total, she racks up $50 worth of wear and tear on her car.  So it’s easy to believe that within the year that she’s had the job, say 260 work days, minus vacation, benefit time, work at home days, I dunno, wild guess of 160 work days…that’d be $8000 worth of wear and tear–more than the vehicle was even worth, and probably consistent with the price of repairs for axles and a transmission, unless my math is totally off.  And of course, expenses aside, I’d rather not lose my wife to a horrific highway accident when something finally broke catastrophically.  So, it was off to the dealership.

When I bought my car as an unmarried young 20-something, the dealership ran a thorough background check on me before I was even allowed to touch a car, and when I did get to drive one, they accompanied me.  Now, as married 30-somethings with kid in tow, they just chucked keys at us for any model we asked about.  And upon the day’s conclusion, home we went with a brand new Honda CR-V.  I had never seen an odometer in the single digits before.

So there’s the lengthy backstory.

I went to move the new car from the driveway into the garage.  A lot has changed in vehicle design since I bought my car 10 years ago.  No more are quaint mechanical keys.  Rather, they’ve been replaced with digital transponders.  I entered the car, which had sensed my presence and unlocked itself, and pressed the ignition button.  The car did nothing.  Hmmm.  I felt the remote in my pocket, so I wasn’t missing anything.  I pushed the button again, then again and again, varying the delay and time of push, similar to my method for getting touchless faucets to provide water in airport bathrooms, except I was pushing a physical button rather than waving my hands around like an epileptic Jedi (that’ll be the future of cars when they get rid of the button).

I’m sorry Dave

The car still didn’t start, but it did fall into gear, despite the shifter being firmly still in Park.  As a consequence, the car was now rolling backwards down the driveway.  Reflexively, I push the break pedal, and the car stopped–which is fortunate, because the car was very obviously fully drive-by-wire, so there must still be a physical connection to the calipers somewhere.

I pushed the button again and the car started immediately.  Curious, I parked the vehicle in the garage and turned it off, but other distractions soon occupied me and I forgot all about the strange experience.

A couple days later, I went to pull the car out of the garage.  The scenario played out as before, except since the garage was level, the vehicle didn’t begin rolling away.  This time, however, I noticed the dash flashing a message:

TO START VEHICLE, PRESS BRAKE PETAL AND PRESS START BUTTON…IDIOT!

It was something like that anyway.  The realization finally sunk in.  I had started the car last time when I pressed the brake to stop it from rolling into the street.

I dwelled on this experience, thinking that even the humble automobile was outpacing my ability to intuitively operate it.  It was a scary thought.  Amidst news of autonomous vehicles and companies promising the eventual obsolescence of the human driver, perhaps I was already seeing the beginnings of my own obsolescence.

Then, yesterday, I was walking from the parking lot and to the office entrance.  In the guest parking, there sat a black Nissan of some sort.  A young Asian lady, wearing an outfit which exceeded business casual, complete with tight black skirt, stood next to it with an armful of paperwork.  Ordinarily, I wouldn’t have given it much thought, as we meet with clients regularly and our other offices travel here for meetings.  This lady, however, waved and walked up to greet me.  She explained her plight: she had accidentally popped the hood of the rental and didn’t know how to close it, and did I possess such knowledge?

And so, very politely (as I didn’t want to make her feel dumb), I felt along the hood’s gap and explained that all cars generally have a little latch you just have to feel for, subsequently found said latch (except it was slightly different than any other hood latch I’d encountered–what the hell, Nissan?), and explained that you just drop the hood to close it.  She felt a little sheepish and said that she couldn’t believe she had driven all the way here like that.

I feel better now, realizing that we’ve reached a point where each generation is now less knowledgeable about their vehicles than the prior.  It was an inevitability, since the operator no longer controls the vehicle directly now–they send input into a computer which then determines what action to take.  It’s less important to know the physical mechanics of a car now, since if anything breaks, the proprietary systems that control the vehicle would also be affected, and would therefore have to be fixed by a technician anyway.  The future will indeed deprecate human input.  Whether or not that’s good–if software will ultimately prove safer and more reliable than the person–will be left to history.

My daughter is still going to learn how to change a tire before she can drive though.

–Simon

Prairie

Prairies are a part of Indiana’s natural heritage, I’ve been told, according to this rest stop sign anyway.

The girls were inside and I was walking the whippets.  I noticed from afar, across the manicured expanse of Kentucky bluegrass, what appeared to be an informational board for the casual passerby.  Naturally curious (and myself being a casual passerby), I trekked through the grass to read this beacon of knowledge.

Perhaps the sign itself was a victim of fire?  Or maybe it’s yet one more icon of yesterday, fallen into disrepair.  Judging from the number of toll roads I had to pay to get through Chicago, it’s apparent that the national Interstate budget isn’t sufficient anymore.  Sad, although it was kind of amusing to see that this sign still remained, all the way out in what is obviously not native prairie.

The field was also littered with structural foundations, but I couldn’t figure out for what.  Another mystery lost to time.

–Simon