The Tenants of Cinematic Selection (rev. 122024-1)

The Tenants have once again expanded. This time, the Holiday Provision has been added, which defines a separate selection process during holiday periods.


αPWN

The Tenants of Cinematic Selection (rev. 122024-1)


Given:

  • αPWN consists of 4 parties and are all present.
  • A singular movie candidate, when part of a series, consists of its full installment regardless of how many independent files or discs it constitutes.
  • A movie may not necessarily be completed in one session.

Procedure:

  1. If the prior session’s movie was not completed, then it must be completed before the next movie may be selected. Finish this move if applicable, then – time permitting – proceed to step 2.
  2. Roll a D4 to determine The Shuffler.
  3. Roll a D3 to determine The Selector from the remaining members of αPWN (The Selector cannot also be The Shuffler). If a D3 is not available, a D4 may be used with #4 reserved for a re-roll.
  4. The Shuffler deposits the movie option tokens from The Jar of Eligibility into a bowl and randomizes them.
  5. The Selector chooses a movie option token, with eyes closed, at random from the bowl. This choice becomes Candidate-1.
  6. αPWN may decide to veto Candidate-1 with a ¾ majority. Any token marked with a “V” cannot be vetoed. Any token marked with a “P” must undergo approval as outlined below (see Termination Provision for Minors). If Candidate-1 is part of a series, this marking only applies to its designated numbering in the sequence (the number to which it is adjacent).
    1. If veto fails then the Candidate-1 becomes The Chosen One.
    2. If veto passes then The Selector chooses a second movie option token. This choice becomes Candidate-2. Candidate-2 may not be vetoed.
      1. αPWN votes between Candidate-1 and Candidate-2. The majority vote becomes The Chosen One. Everyone must vote. The loser’s token is marked with a “V” and returned to The Jar of Eligibility. If the loser is part of a series, the “V” must be preceded with its corresponding number in the series’ sequence (e.g. “2 V”).
        1. If the vote is a tie, then a D4 is rolled to determine The Flipper. All are eligible to become The Flipper.
        2. The Flipper tosses a coin to choose between Candidate-1 and Candidate-2. The winner becomes The Chosen One. The loser’s token is marked with a “V” and returned to The Jar of Eligibility. If the loser is part of a series, the “V” must be preceded with its corresponding number in the series’ sequence (e.g. “2 V”).
  7. The Chosen One is watched and its token discarded into eternal damnation.
    1. If the Chosen One is part of a series (when its name implies such) and the last of the series has not yet been watched, then its token is marked with its numerical position in the sequence and returned to The Jar of Eligibility and the next in the series not yet watched is watched.
  8. All remaining movie option tokens not banished into eternal damnation are returned to The Jar of Eligibility by The Shuffler.

Termination Provision for Minors:

  • At any point in a movie’s viewing it may be stopped if two adult members of αPWN determine that it is not appropriate to continue in the presence of a minor. Similarly, the selection may undergo this review upon selection prior to starting the movie. The token is marked with a “P” (if not already so marked) and returned to The Jar of Eligibility. Time permitting, αPWN may then decide with full consensus to repeat the selection process.

Candidate Additions:

  • Any member of αPWN may add a new movie option token to The Jar of Eligibility.
  • Additions to The Jar of Eligibility must be done so in good faith (a movie that the majority of αPWN would want to watch).
  • Additions to The Jar of Eligibility may only be done so with all members of αPWN present.

Holiday Provision:

  • The standard selection procedure may be overridden with unanimous αPWN consent during times of holidays. This period is defined as the 7 day span prior to the holiday, the holiday itself, and the 7 day span following. The Christmas period, however, is defined as the day following Thanksgiving until and including Christmas day itself. Any movie relevant to the holiday may be chosen. αPWN must unanimously agree that:
  1. The holiday is an eligible holiday under which this provision can be invoked (Christmas is automatically eligible), and
  2. The movie in question is themed to the holiday, and
  3. All αPWN members want to watch the movie.
  • The Holiday Provision is not exempt from the Termination Provision for Minors (see above).

Tenant Modifications:

  • Any changes to these tenants may only be done so with unanimous αPWN consent.

–Simon

Lights Out

I heard a joke once about why hurricanes are given women’s names. I won’t repeat it here, as it’s too lowbrow for even my blog, but I’m chuckling to myself nonetheless. Fortunately, she only took my silver maple when she left, and cut the power for 4 days.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hurricane_Helene

I’m no stranger to these weather events, but Ohio is not prepared for hurricanes. Tornadoes, we all collectively know it’s a gamble and if you get hit directly it’s game over, but hurricanes always seem to sneak in and do more damage than expected.

I am not a Prepper, but I am a Something Will Go Wrong-er, so I had some contingencies in place. Still, it’s interesting how quickly things go downhill without power. So, following the cataclysm, I took the opportunity to document a timeline of failure events for future reference. Here’s what I can expect for the next event that cuts off our electricity:

After…

  • 2 hours, the UPS will fail and the network equipment will go offline (the internet was out anyway since the cable had been severed).
  • 6 hours, the upright refrigerator/freezer will exceed 40 and 32 degrees, respectively.
  • 20 hours, the emergency hall lights will fail.
  • 48 hours, the cooler (if packed with ice), will exceed 40 degrees.
  • 48 hours, the emergency basement light will dim to the point of being unusable.
  • 72 hours, the chest freezer will almost reach 32 degrees.

More condensed, these are the priorities:

  • Day 1: wired communications will fail and short-term food storage will reach unsafe temperatures. Backup lights will begin to fail.
  • Day 2: More backup lights will continue to fail and the cooler will need to be restocked with ice if being used for backup food storage.
  • Day 3: Long-term frozen food storage will begin to thaw.

Overall, we made it out with minimal losses, but the area that needs addressing is a backup power supply for the chest freezer. Provided we can source ice, refrigerator food can remain safe in the cooler, but substantial losses would have occurred had we not borrowed a generator. Lesson learned.

I also bought a chain saw.

–Simon

The Tenants of Cinematic Selection (rev. 092024-1)

Another revision was required, following a partial viewing of Joker. Asocial violence, mental illness, and disturbing criminal activities were only some of the reasons behind the movie interruption. We needed a provision to invoke parental discretion, so the Termination Provision for Minors section has been added, along with a system to identify such selections and return them to The Jar of Eligibility with a veto system that takes place independently of the standard group veto process.

–Simon

Age and Economics

385 words, 2 minutes read time.

Now that I’m 40, I’ve done some reflecting. In all, I don’t have too many complaints when I really think about it. I mean, America’s golden age – at least in recent history and the era we still seem to consider the gold standard (hehe) – was the 1950s and 60s, and a time in which the war and postwar generations saw large economic growth.

Just look at those GDP spikes, compared to 2007, when I entered the workforce full time! Sure there were some recessions, and the Boomers still whine about how bad interest rates were in 1980 (and how so many of them were almost drafted for The Vietnam War), but look at the growth recovery following each of those events, compared to the 2008 Great Recession.

Recession of 1953

Inflation and rising interest rates:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recession_of_1953

Recession of 1958

Sinking car and house purchases:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recession_of_1958

Early 1980s recession in the United States

Inflation and oil energy dependency:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Early_1980s_recession_in_the_United_States

2007–2008 financial crisis

Unsustainable and predatory financial lending practices:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2007%E2%80%932008_financial_crisis

And studies which I won’t bother to cite because you have a search engine too have long mockingly laughed at my generation’s plight, as those who enter the workforce in a recession are doomed to never make much money. And yet, here Liz and I sit, apparently as 12%-ers. And also apparently I’ll be a multi-millionaire at retirement according to projections. And like most of my generation, I normally don’t discuss my financial situation, because we just don’t want to get into it with a boomer. But sometimes I think it’s healthy to brag about one’s accomplishments and this one in particular is contrary to everything I was told was going to happen, thanks to boomer generational masturbatory article headlines (“Your kids are lazy and won’t get a job and they’re moving back home to take your money”).

But I started off on a tangent. I meant to post some cheap laughs at becoming older, but I’m apparently so adversarialy positive about my situation that I got distracted with everything good that’s happened on my journey to becoming middle-aged.

Oh well. Fodder for my next post I suppose, since I’m almost hitting 400 words here! Next time – how long it takes to grow out a damaged fingernail! Woo!

–Simon

Transferable Skills…of Death!

There are two ways to turn an extracurricular or hobby into a chore: make it competitive, or do it as part of a job. Myself, I never bought into the idea that if you do something you love, you’ll never work a day in your life. Bullshit. Once something becomes a critical source of revenue, failure can no longer be an option. And sometimes I just want to do something for fun. I don’t want to compare my performance to every single person out there who also participates in the same activity.

And at the school level especially, it can quickly become a personal confidence-killer.

So it was that the kid lost interest in music. Because in the affluent Centerville, there’s always a Korean kid forced into practicing to exhaustion on threats of violence. Even during my shitty Lubbock public education there was that kid: the quiet, broken shell. He played multiple instruments and was always on 1st clarinet with kids 2 years his senior, and solved every math problem on the board. Had he played trumpet, I would have given up, too.

But now the kid is in archery. And she’s pretty good, and enjoys it. She doesn’t have to practice to the point of misery just to keep up, or be forced to compete.

And from my viewpoint, I say: when the world ends, the zombies won’t care that she can play the violin, but they will care when she can shoot them in the head.

Maybe a goofy way to make the point, but I’ve always viewed martial skills as having more practical application beyond the classroom anyway. And by “classroom” I mean the academy, because nothing that involves a weapon will ever be integrated into the American school system. No – taxes should be spent on learning sportsball.

My grievances with the Karen-catering school system aside, here’s the kid completing her introductory training.

And going freestyle.

And as a dad who also enjoys the sport, I’m glad I can take some interest finally in her activities. We might even have something to bond with now! So long as she can stand being seen in public with her dad. I’d better start practicing.

–Simon